IELTS General Training Writing Task 2 (Please Review)

[DTYJ]

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society.
Do you agree or disagree?


As a person reaches a certain maturity, naturally, people will start thinking of settling down and getting married. Some agrees that before a person reaches the age of 30, that is the prime age of getting married and it is certainly backed by a number of reasons too. However, I do not agree that the ideal age of getting married is before 30 years old but on the contrary, I believe marrying after that age would produce much better results to both the individual and the society.


First of all, getting married often comes with the desire to start a family. Now, starting a family adds on a range of responsibilities and requires immense and constant attention to it be it from your partner or the children. As an immediate result, the effort and attention which an individual can put on his career will have to be compromised in order to take care of his family. At this stage, the person often feels that his career is stuck in a limbo where it seems to be not advancing any further simply because he cannot afford to invest more time into his job. It is only when the children grow up and requires less attention, then would the person be able to commit more to his career. However, that would take at least about eighteen years or so and by then, the energy levels of the individual would have long been going downhill.


In our society, we perceive marriage as a time to wrap up that certain level of intimacy a couple is at and that it is a sign to tie the knot. Often times, young couples are so drawn to this affection for each other they rush into marriages without proper planning for their future and sometime down their marriage, everything just falls apart. According to statistics, about 55% couple who marries before the age of 30 are more likely to experience divorce. Because of this, the society has increased number of broken marriages and broken families which has a direct impact on the children’s life. A society of high broken marriage rates is very unhealthy and plays an indirect role to a number of social issues such juvenile delinquency.


In conclusion, the negative impact of marrying before 30 far outweighs the positive ones. Individuals marrying after the age of 30 allow more time for themselves to fully develop their career and also have more stable marriages. Both creating the best outcome for the individual and the society.

 

[teechar]

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society.
Do you agree or disagree?


People will naturally think of getting married and settling down as [STRIKE]a person[/STRIKE] they reach a certain age. [STRIKE]maturity, naturally, people will start thinking of settling down and getting married.[/STRIKE] Some [STRIKE]agrees[/STRIKE] argue that people should get married before [STRIKE]a person reaches[/STRIKE] the age of 30, [STRIKE]that is the prime age of getting married and it is certainly backed by[/STRIKE] and they present a number of reasons for that. [STRIKE]too.[/STRIKE] However, I do not agree with that view. [STRIKE]the ideal age of getting married is before 30 years old but[/STRIKE] On the contrary, I believe marrying after that age would [STRIKE]produce[/STRIKE] lead to much better results [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] both for the individual and [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] society.

First of all, getting married often [STRIKE]comes[/STRIKE] goes with the desire to start a family. [STRIKE]Now,[/STRIKE] And starting a family adds on a range of responsibilities and requires immense and constant attention, [STRIKE]to it[/STRIKE] be it [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]your[/STRIKE] one's partner or the children. As [STRIKE]an immediate[/STRIKE] a result, the effort and attention which an individual can [STRIKE]put on[/STRIKE] dedicate to his/her career will have to be compromised in order to take care of [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] the family. [STRIKE]At this stage, the person often feels that his career is stuck in a limbo where it seems to be not advancing any further simply because he cannot afford to invest more time into his job.[/STRIKE][That just repeats the previous sentence.] It is only when the children grow up and require less attention [STRIKE], then would[/STRIKE] that the person would be able to commit more time to his/her career, [STRIKE]However, that would take at least about eighteen years or so and[/STRIKE] but by then, the energy levels of the individual would not be the same. [STRIKE]have long been going downhill.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]In our society, we perceive marriage as a time to wrap up that certain level of intimacy a couple is at and that it is a sign to tie the knot.[/STRIKE] Moreover, often times, young couples are so drawn to [STRIKE]this affection for[/STRIKE] each other that they rush into marriage without proper planning for their future, and sometime down the road, [STRIKE]ir marriage,[/STRIKE] everything just falls apart. According to statistics, about 55% of couples who marry before the age of 30 are more likely to [STRIKE]experience[/STRIKE] get divorced. [STRIKE]Because of this, the society has increased[/STRIKE] A high number of broken marriages and broken families [STRIKE]which has a direct impact on the children’s life. A society of high broken marriage rates[/STRIKE] is very unhealthy and [STRIKE]plays an indirect role to a number of[/STRIKE] often leads to social issues such juvenile delinquency.

In conclusion, the negative impacts of marrying before 30 far outweigh any perceived benefits. [STRIKE]the positive ones. Individuals[/STRIKE] People marrying after the age of 30 allow more time for themselves to fully develop their career and mature as individuals, which means they also have more stable marriages. [STRIKE]Both creating the best[/STRIKE] That ensures a better outcome for the individual and [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] for society.

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