Erbab
Member
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2016
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Turkish
- Home Country
- Turkey
- Current Location
- Turkey
Hello!
I am preparing for IELTS, and I have written this essay as an answer of question below. I hope you can help me correct my mistakes.
"In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the pastfew decades.Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions."
Increasing divorce rate is becoming a serious issue in some countries. I belive one of the major reasons of this problem is that people do not have a fulfilling work life. However, fortunately, there are ways to deal with this problem.
In my opinion, the biggest cause of divorce is harsh work conditions. Employers are demanding long working hours with a very less salary. Therefore, people do not earn what they really deserve and it affects their mental health adversely. They can not have enough leisure time for themselves and their family, and they frequently can not spend their money to live in a little luxury. People can only afford some fundamental needs to survive. All of this adds up to an unhappy family life.
Fortunately, there are things that can be done to solve some of these problems. People can accept these bad conditions and try to use them to strenghten their connections to each other. Changing people’s mindset is likely to help save a marriage. Couples may try to get a therapy to replace their negative thoughts with more positive ones. People also try to look for more fulfilling job opportunities, if their current job is stressful and demanding. These things require changing one’s lifestyle, but they can lead to a happier marriage and family life.
Life is demanding and family life is inevitably coming under the influence of these demanding conditions. As a result of this, a rise in divorce rates can be observed in some parts of the world. However, some changes in people’s perspective and lifestyle may be a cure for this problem.
I am preparing for IELTS, and I have written this essay as an answer of question below. I hope you can help me correct my mistakes.
"In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the pastfew decades.Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions."
Increasing divorce rate is becoming a serious issue in some countries. I belive one of the major reasons of this problem is that people do not have a fulfilling work life. However, fortunately, there are ways to deal with this problem.
In my opinion, the biggest cause of divorce is harsh work conditions. Employers are demanding long working hours with a very less salary. Therefore, people do not earn what they really deserve and it affects their mental health adversely. They can not have enough leisure time for themselves and their family, and they frequently can not spend their money to live in a little luxury. People can only afford some fundamental needs to survive. All of this adds up to an unhappy family life.
Fortunately, there are things that can be done to solve some of these problems. People can accept these bad conditions and try to use them to strenghten their connections to each other. Changing people’s mindset is likely to help save a marriage. Couples may try to get a therapy to replace their negative thoughts with more positive ones. People also try to look for more fulfilling job opportunities, if their current job is stressful and demanding. These things require changing one’s lifestyle, but they can lead to a happier marriage and family life.
Life is demanding and family life is inevitably coming under the influence of these demanding conditions. As a result of this, a rise in divorce rates can be observed in some parts of the world. However, some changes in people’s perspective and lifestyle may be a cure for this problem.