Interpretation of paragraph

[Tan Elaine]

As I pulled the car up to my house, tears welled in my eyes. I did not want my loved ones to experience the shame and guilt that I had as a child when I saw my father come home depressed over his losses at the casino.

At that moment, I made a bet with myself, "You'll not be able to leave the tables." It was an audacious wager against my better nature -- a kind of inverted vow, one that I had to make again each morning. But thank God, it's the bet that I have lost for some 2,700 sunrises.

I find the bold paragraph confusing. The question I want to know is whether the writer overcame his gambling addiction. Could you please explain to me if he succeeded or failed in his attempt to stop gambling?

Many thanks for your help.

 

[5jj]

He succeeded in his attempt to stop gambling. He weirdly bet (himself) every day that he would not be able to give up the gambling tables - and lost the bet every day by being able to give up the tables.

 

[Tan Elaine]

Many thanks, 5JJ, for the lucid explanation.