[Grammar] Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

[Rosanna Liuski]

Is this sentence right? I'm writing a book for fun and I just want to check this, so thanks in advance ;-)

“I’m hungry”, Lance said as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach disgustingly, “don’t we have something to eat?”

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

If you mean is it a grammatical sentence then the answer is yes. If your question is does it make sense then the answer is again yes.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

Lance's stomach has its own opinion of what he should be doing, and that's to give it food.

 

[MikeNewYork]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

The word "don't" needs to be capitalized.

 

[Raymott]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

I'd make a new sentence, as Mike seems to be suggesting.

“I’m hungry,” Lance said as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach disgustingly. “Don’t we have something to eat?”

 

[Rosanna Liuski]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

Ok, great! Thank you very much! ^_^

 

[Rosanna Liuski]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

Oh, yes, thank you!

 

[emsr2d2]

Re: Is this right: "--as the steps he took resonated to his empty stomach..."

Note that there is no need to write a new post (and certainly not two!) to say "Thank you". Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful. It saves time for everyone.