It was late in night and a boy rode his bike along the path when suddenly he stopped in shock as his head lamp was not working anymore.

[Tait-ka]

It was late in night and a boy rode his bike along the path when suddenly he stopped in shock as his head lamp was not working anymore.

Source: English Precis and Composition paper (CSS), held on Feb 5, 2026.

In the paper, it was asked to correct the above sentence. Can you please tell me how to correct it?

My tries:
1) It was late at night when a boy rode his bike along the path. Suddenly he stopped in shock as his head lamp was not working anymore.
OR
2) It was late at night, and a boy was riding his bike along the path when he suddenly stopped in shock because his headlamp was no longer working.

 

[emsr2d2]

Which of your two attempts would you choose if you had to?

 

[Tait-ka]

Which of your two attempts would you choose if you had to?

I think both are good. But I am not sure. That's why I've asked here.

 

[emsr2d2]

I think both are good no full stop here but I am not sure. That's why I've asked here.

As a learner, don't try to start sentences with "but". Use it as a conjunction.


OK, then I have three questions:

1. Why did you use "headlamp" in sentence 1 but "head lamp" in sentence 2?
2. Why did you use "was not working anymore" in sentence 1 but "was no long working" in sentence 2?
3. What difference do you think is made by opening with "It was late at night when a boy rode his bike" as opposed to "It was late at night and a boy was riding his bike"?

This clearly isn't just a question of tense as there are other differences between your first and second suggested sentences that I assume were done on purpose. I'm trying to get you to think about the entire sentence.

 

[jutfrank]

2) It was late at night, and a boy was riding his bike along the path when he suddenly stopped in shock because his headlamp was no longer working.

This is the correct sentence, as you've got both the bold parts right.

Please answer emr2d2's questions. Thank you.

 

[Tait-ka]

1. Why did you use "headlamp" in sentence 1 but "head lamp" in sentence 2?

It was the other way round.
Actually I meant to write "head lamp" in both sentences, but mistakenly wrote "headlamp" in 2.

2. Why did you use "was not working anymore" in sentence 1 but "was no long working" in sentence 2?

I thought both have the same meaning, but wondered one might be better than the other, so I thought native speakers will let me know.

3. What difference do you think is made by opening with "It was late at night when a boy rode his bike" as opposed to "It was late at night and a boy was riding his bike"?

I thought there is no difference, but again I wondered one might be more appropriate in that sentence.

 

[emsr2d2]

What I was trying to get at was that there were too many variations across your two sentences for us to easily deal with them. It's much more efficient, when posting two sentences, to make sure that there is just one difference between them.

 

[Tait-ka]

What I was trying to get at was that there were too many variations across your two sentences for us to easily deal with them. It's much more efficient, when posting two sentences, to make sure that there is just one difference between them.

Okay, how can you help me now with those sentences?

 

[Tarheel]

Okay, how can you help me now with those sentences?

@jutfrank pointed out the correct sentence in post #5.