keep eye contact with eyes

[alpacinou]

Hello.

I want to say someone kept eye contact with another person. I want to also mention the color of the eyes.

Is it okay to say "keep eye contact with her blue eyes"? I ask this because repeating eyes twice might not work.

We were both waiting outside the boss's office. I kept eye contact with her blue eyes until she walked in his office.

Is there a better, smoother way of expressing this?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I'd say "watched."

However you say it, I don't think keeping eye contact is believable. You're not keeping eye contact unless she's watching you, too. And that's not likely: (a) She'd bump into something, and (b) the boss would wonder why you were staring at each other.

 

[alpacinou]

Try "watched."

I watched her blue eyes?

Is there a way I can use "eye contact" and mention the eye color?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I watched her blue eyes?

Is there a way I can use "eye contact" and mention the eye color?

For the reasons I gave above, I don't think it works. You're really looking at each other the whole time she's crossing the room and going into another room? That's just weird.

 

[alpacinou]

For the reasons I gave above, I don't think it works. You're really looking at each other the whole time she's crossing the room and going into another room? That's just weird.

I know it's an unusual situation.

Okay, what about this?

I kept eye contact with her blue eyes as I poured her coffee. Her gaze was cold and unblinking.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I know it's an unusual situation.

Okay, what about this?

I kept eye contact with her blue eyes as I poured her coffee. Her gaze was cold and unblinking.

Much better. Using eye twice in once sentence is a little repetitious, though.

 

[alpacinou]

Much better. Using eye twice in once sentence is a little repetitious, though.

Is this weird? I think it is but I need to be sure I don't have other options.

I kept contact with her blue eyes as I poured her coffee. Her gaze was cold and unblinking.

 

[GoesStation]

Is this weird? I think it is but I need to be sure I don't have other options.

I kept contact with her blue eyes as I poured her coffee. Her gaze was cold and unblinking.

Yes.

 

[GoesStation]

… until she walked in his office.

That means "until, having entered his office, she took at least a few steps." That's not what you mean.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Is this weird? I think it is but I need to be sure I don't have other options.

I kept contact with her blue eyes as I poured her coffee. Her gaze was cold and unblinking.

Why not just "We watched each other as I poured her coffee"? Who cares what color her eyes are?

If it somehow advances the story, you can mention it somewhere else. (Anywhere else! E.g: "Her blue eyes were cold and unblinking.")

 

[alpacinou]

Why not just "We watched each other as I poured her coffee"? Who cares what color her eyes are?

If it somehow advances the story, you can mention it somewhere else. (Anywhere else! E.g: "Her blue eyes were cold and unblinking.")

Thanks Charlie. I'm trying to explore different ways and options.

 

[alpacinou]

And what do you think about this?

She kept eye contact with me with her blue eyes as she poured me coffee.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't like "with me with her blue eyes".

Her blue eyes maintained contact with me as/while she poured my coffee.

 

[emsr2d2]

I've come up with an improvement on my last suggestion.

Her [blue] eyes held mine as she poured my coffee.

I've put "blue" in brackets because it could be argued that using it suggests that my eyes are blue too.