Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in my short story?
Martin and her fiancée, Lidia, strolled around the island. They breathed in the air rich with the scents of the sea, pine needles, resin, wide flowers and ripen fruit. Their eyes were dazzled by the sea twinkling and glistening under the sun. The lapping of the waves and shrieking of the gulls filled their ears. They held hands, discussing their upcoming wedding. They agreed, they were going to splash out on it and invite everyone they knew. Lidia had already bought her dress, made an appointment at the hairdresser’s, and engaged with a florist’s for the bouquets of her favourite flowers.
They had waited for that day since they met at university and fell in love with each other a few years before. Many of their colleagues and friends fell in love at that time, but while majority of them split after a year or two, Martin’s and Lidia’s love only grew stronger. When they were separated during the lectures and their other obligations, they yearned after each other and eagerly waited to be together again.
As characters, they were as different as night and day: Martin shy and introvert, Lidia chatty and outgoing. She had to take an initiative in almost everything, while he followed obediently. The travel to this island was her idea too. While England is choking under fog and heavy rains in September, on this island, the days are as bright and sunny as ever. They needed this break, away from constant traffic congestion, smelly air, crowded street, and irritable passers-by. They both worked as chartered accountant – a well-paid job, which left them financially satisfied but spiritually wanting. To give their souls nourishment, Martin wrote poetry and was a member of a local poetry society, while Lidia did yoga.
TO BE CONTINUED
Martin and her fiancée, Lidia, strolled around the island. They breathed in the air rich with the scents of the sea, pine needles, resin, wide flowers and ripen fruit. Their eyes were dazzled by the sea twinkling and glistening under the sun. The lapping of the waves and shrieking of the gulls filled their ears. They held hands, discussing their upcoming wedding. They agreed, they were going to splash out on it and invite everyone they knew. Lidia had already bought her dress, made an appointment at the hairdresser’s, and engaged with a florist’s for the bouquets of her favourite flowers.
They had waited for that day since they met at university and fell in love with each other a few years before. Many of their colleagues and friends fell in love at that time, but while majority of them split after a year or two, Martin’s and Lidia’s love only grew stronger. When they were separated during the lectures and their other obligations, they yearned after each other and eagerly waited to be together again.
As characters, they were as different as night and day: Martin shy and introvert, Lidia chatty and outgoing. She had to take an initiative in almost everything, while he followed obediently. The travel to this island was her idea too. While England is choking under fog and heavy rains in September, on this island, the days are as bright and sunny as ever. They needed this break, away from constant traffic congestion, smelly air, crowded street, and irritable passers-by. They both worked as chartered accountant – a well-paid job, which left them financially satisfied but spiritually wanting. To give their souls nourishment, Martin wrote poetry and was a member of a local poetry society, while Lidia did yoga.
TO BE CONTINUED