mobile phones

[rahma hassan]

Mobile phones- a flawed invention:?:
From many decades and mobile phones have been one of the most (useful modern technology) item used, but despite its usefulness, why do a lot of people regard it as a harmful devices?
Because of their convenience, mobile phones have become universally popular. With them, we can call anyone at any time, no matter how much the distance lies, our phones keeps us in constant communication with our friends, our families or even in business. Mobile phones allows us to use special apps to listen to music, playing games, surfing the net and text messaging. Its hard to picture our life as it was before the mobile phones

But, there are many disadvantage regarding the use of mobile phones for example (mobile phones are a proven health hazard), using mobile phones is said to be harmful to the brain especially those under the age of sixteen. Excessive use of mobile phones has been accused of causing dizziness and radiations emitted from the phone are considered deadly harmful for eyes. Other than causing harmful effect on our body, drivers distracted by taking on their cell phones are more likely to get into car crash

Mobile phones solves problem and provide new ways of communication. We can access all the world's information no matter where we are just by using a small devices which can fit in the palm of the hand.
But be careful mobile phones might also be bad for you!

P/s: please help me to correct this article I have exams 3 days more and I am not confident about what I wrote .. thanks in advance.

 

[emsr2d2]

The first thing you need to do is click on "Edit Post" and change the first letter of every sentence, and every instance of the word "I", to a capital letter. Also, in your "PS", you used "plz". That is not a word - it's "please".

 

[rahma hassan]

I have already edited it, please check it for me.

 

[emsr2d2]

Mobile phones - a flawed invention?

[STRIKE]From[/STRIKE] For many decades, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] mobile phones have been one of the most useful pieces/examples of modern technology [STRIKE]item used,[/STRIKE] but despite [STRIKE]its[/STRIKE] their usefulness, why do a lot of people regard [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] them as [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] harmful? [STRIKE]devices? [/STRIKE]

Because [STRIKE]of their convenience[/STRIKE] they are so convenient, mobile phones have become universally popular. With them, we can call anyone at any time, no matter how much [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] distance lies between us. Our phones [STRIKE]keeps[/STRIKE] keep us in constant [STRIKE]communication[/STRIKE] contact with our friends, our families or even [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] with businesses. Mobile phones [STRIKE]allows[/STRIKE] allow us to use special apps to listen to music, [STRIKE]playing[/STRIKE] play games, [STRIKE]surfing[/STRIKE] surf the net and send text [STRIKE]messaging[/STRIKE] messages. It's hard to picture [STRIKE]our[/STRIKE] life [STRIKE]as it was[/STRIKE] before [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] mobile phones.

[STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] However, there are many disadvantages [STRIKE]regarding[/STRIKE] to the use of mobile phones. For example, (no bracket here) mobile phones are a proven health hazard (no bracket here) - using mobile phones is said to be harmful to the brain, especially for those under the age of sixteen. Excessive use of mobile phones has been [STRIKE]accused[/STRIKE] blamed [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] for causing dizziness, and [STRIKE]radiations[/STRIKE] the radiation emitted from them [STRIKE]phone[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] is considered to be [STRIKE]deadly[/STRIKE] harmful [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to the eyes. [STRIKE]Other than[/STRIKE] In addition to [STRIKE]causing[/STRIKE] these harmful effects on our body, drivers distracted by talking on their [STRIKE]cell[/STRIKE] mobile phones are more likely to get into a car crash.

Mobile phones [STRIKE]solves[/STRIKE] solve many problems and provide new ways [STRIKE]of communication[/STRIKE] to communicate. We can access all the [STRIKE]world's[/STRIKE] information in the world no matter where we are just by using a small [STRIKE]devices[/STRIKE] device which can fit in the palm of the hand.
But be careful - mobile phones might also be bad for you!

[STRIKE]P/s[/STRIKE] PS - please help me to correct this article. I have exams in 3 days [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] and I am not confident about what I wrote. Thanks in advance.

See above. You need to remember that "mobile phones" is a plural noun so it needs to be followed by the third person plural form of a verb. You used the third person singular almost every time.

 

[rahma hassan]

Thanks a lot... it seems that i need a lot of practice to be good at writing. Can you advise me of anyway to improve my writing because no matter how much i wrote, it isn't getting any better.

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks a lot. It seems that I need a lot of practice to be good at writing. Can you advise me of any way to improve my writing because no matter how much I write, [STRIKE]it isn't getting[/STRIKE] I don't get any better.

The simple answer is practice! Also, read as much as you can in English. Read newspapers, magazines, websites and books in English. It's amazing how many little things you will start to pick up when you see them over and over again by native speakers.

Practise short, simple sentences and practise the basics until you're certain you've got them right. For example, as I pointed out in post #2, you used the third person singular ending many times for a third person plural verb. Concentrate, for now, on making sure you understand verb endings in the present tense. Also, as you can see above, you consistently fail to capitalise the word "I". That's something you have to fix.