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AirbusA321

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Feb 12, 2017
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Interested in Language
Native Language
German
Home Country
Belgium
Current Location
Philippines
Please have a look if my sentences are OK or need to be reformulated.

Flirting in Manila is much more fun than in Europe. Once you give a smile to a Manila girl at a shopping mall or so for no reason or to start a little flirt, she will smile back twice as much, whereas in Berlin or London they would make a face like you were an intrusive used-car dealer.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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English Teacher
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British English
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UK
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UK
Please have a look if my sentences are OK or need to be reformulated.

Flirting in some cities is much more fun than in others. In some cities, once you [STRIKE]give a[/STRIKE] smile [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] at a girl/boy at a shopping mall, [STRIKE]or so[/STRIKE] for no particular reason or to start flirting a little, [STRIKE]flirt,[/STRIKE] she/he will smile back twice as much. In some other cities, they would make a face at you [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] as if you were an intrusive used-car dealer.

See above.

I have edited and corrected your post so that it does not make sweeping stereotypical statements about people in particular cities. I have also added "boy" and "he" in - you need to remember that flirting works in many ways, not just males flirting with females.
 

Raymott

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Australia
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Australia
I think that removing the city names removes much of the message. However, there is a place (or several places) for such qualifications as "usually" or "in my experience".
 

Tdol

Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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British English
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Japan
I'd keep the names of the cities.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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OK, but with the names of the cities, I'd suggest starting with something like "In my opinion" or "I have found that" to avoid it appearing to be a statement of fact.
 
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