Motivation Letter for Master's degree (scholarship)

kennai

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Hi, may I ask your help to check my motivation for the master's degree (scholarship). They ask about these things: Reasons to fund for developing countries

My passion for data science started when I took a short course with a computer institute in (my country name). I learned that data science is a powerful tool that can help businesses to analyze the mass ofdata they deal with and to make decisions. Because I have no background in the data area, I tried to gain more experience with my previous companies and joined online learning classes from various websites. When I got the opportunity to study in the UK, I learned about data techniques and visualizations. However, the courses in the UK were not focused on Advanced Machine Learning, which I intend to do qualitative study in order to have enough skills before continuing a Ph.D. I found that the curriculum at the University of XXX was taught to focus on Data Algorithms and MachineLearning. It was exactly what I wanted to study. For this reason, I wouldlike to continue my next degree at the University of XXX.

Throughout my years of study at prominent educational institutions in the UK, I have proved an outstanding level of academic performance and have shown particular strength in social science study that requires analytical and speculative methods. For my thesis, I have studied the topic of “Mental Health Effects ofthe Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant Disaster to explore the effect of people after the nuclear plant disaster” on how the people affect their mind and how many people's lifestyles have changed from the past.

After working in the data analysis area for more than 4 years, I have acquired huge experience in many aspects of these jobs. It gives me a big picture of machine learning and AI should be able to help within the business, such as predicting sales trends, using statistics to predict customer annuity trends of each year,and using with ETL in the payment process with real-time machine learning. My project at (Company name A) focused on tracking car buyers whether they have visited the service center to check the car condition as scheduled or not and analyze potential customers who may come back to buythe car again. I also worked closely with the sales department to predict what future sales prospects will be. After that, at (Company name B), I hadto study ways to keep overdue tracking customers and analyze a person'sbehavior so that I was able to assess which debtors were likely to fail to paythe debt on schedule. Therefore, I would like to study how to use machine learning for preprocessing, real-time data, and business reports through automated ETL processes. Furthermore, with the SAS BI project, I joined toanalysis of variance and models which was used to relate the factors considered, analyze the differences among the different user requirements and finally perform on the dashboard.

This scholarship opportunity I perceive as an extraordinary opportunity to interactwith experts and scholars from diverse professional backgrounds coming from all the world. I strongly believe that a Degree in Data Science, with focus on Advanced Machine Learning and Special Topic in Regression, would certainly be valuable in allowing me tocatch my goals. I plan to study the climate change in (My country name) that is affected by global warming as Asia Pacific countries are now facing natural disasters such as floods, storms, and earthquakes. Due to the rapid environmental change, (My country name), which is close to the equator, is frequently affected by storms andnatural disasters. Therefore, I would like to find a way to cope with these disasters by tracking the storm paths and affected areas. If I get this scholarship, I will analyze the statistic of storms that have attacked (My country name) in the past and how it affects people in the area and tourism. I expect this research to be able to calculate storm paths, determine the duration of storms most frequently to strike, and use machine learning techniques to find out where the storm is most likely to have a major impact in (My country name). The study results will send to government agencies to tackle future disasters.

With these experiences, I am satisfied I can provide the best assistance to your research area. Moreover, the reputation of high-quality education standards andfaculty members are the main factors that have encouraged me to apply for this scholarship. Finally, I desire to catch up on my dream to be a professional in data analyst that will benefit many people. Completing this degree should provide the experience for me to achieve my aspirations.


Is my reason good enough? And what do I need to improve?

Thank you
 
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emsr2d2

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The first thing you should do is click on "Edit Post", enlarge the font of your piece (it's too small) and add some empty lines between paragraphs, then click "Save". No one wants to read a huge chunk of tiny text like that.
 

kennai

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I changed it
 

teechar

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They ask about these things: Reasons to fund for developing countries
1- Did they only ask you to write about that? What other areas did they ask you to cover?
2- Is there a word limit?
3- What is the submission deadline?
 

kennai

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1- Did they only ask you to write about that? What other areas did they ask you to cover?
2- Is there a word limit?
3- What is the submission deadline?

1- Did they only ask you to write about that? What other areas did they ask you to cover?
--- They asks to :
describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses
describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.

2- Is there a word limit?
--- They didn't notify

3- What is the submission deadline?[/QUOTE]
--- This scholarship is not yet open for applications. I want to write it first. They will open around February
 

Tarheel

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1- Did they only ask you to write about that? What other areas did they ask you to cover?
--- They ask applicants to :
describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses
describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.

2- Is there a word limit?
--- They didn't specify a word limit.

3- What is the submission deadline?
--- This scholarship is not yet open for applications. I want to write the first one. It will be open some time in February

It makes sense that there's no word limit if the scholarships aren't open yet.
 

Tarheel

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Try:

considerable experience
quite a lot of experience
a great deal of experience
 

Tarheel

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Perhaps:

I found that the curriculum at XXX University focuses on data algorithms and machine learning.
 

teechar

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--- They asks to :
describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses
describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.
You only wrote one and a half paragraph about those points. Is that all you were asked to cover?
 

kennai

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You only wrote one and a half paragraph about those points. Is that all you were asked to cover?

Do you mean that what I wrote is not cover all points? or anything else?

Thank you
 

teechar

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No. I mean did the instructions ask you to write about only those two points?
 

kennai

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No. I mean did the instructions ask you to write about only those two points?

After I checked, they asks applicants to:

1.how your preferred courses relate to one of our recommended study subjects.
Study subjects like :
1.1 Climate Change and the Environment
1.2 Disaster Risk Management
1.3 Food Security
I chose the topic in Climate change


2.describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses.
3.describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.

Thank you
 

teechar

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1.how your preferred courses relate to one of our recommended study subjects.
Study subjects like :
1.1 Climate Change and the Environment
1.2 Disaster Risk Management
1.3 Food Security
I chose the topic in Climate change
I think paragraph #4 addresses that.

2.describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses.
3.describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.
Your letter has not addressed those points. Write a paragraph about each of them.
You will also need to condense the first three paragraphs above into one or two at most. Otherwise, your letter will be too long.
 

Tarheel

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Tarheel

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They ask applicants to:

1. Show how your preferred courses relate to one of our recommended study subjects.

Study subjects like :
1.1 Climate change and the environment
1.2 Disaster risk management
1.3 Food security
I chose the topic [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] climate change.


2. space here Describe the skills and knowledge you want to gain from your preferred courses.
3. space here Describe how these skills and knowledge are important to your country’s development.

Please note the changes.
 
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kennai

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Please note the changes.

For the point that you asked me to change, I copied from the scholarship website does it mean that the website is wrong?

Thank you
 

Tarheel

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For the point that you asked me to change, I copied from the scholarship website. Does that mean that the website is wrong?

Are you talking about capitalization?

Were those things copied directly from the website?
 

kennai

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Are you talking about capitalization?

Were those things copied directly from the website?


Yes I copied directly from the website.


Thank you
 

Tarheel

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Try:

My passion for data science started when I took a short course at a computer institute in Thailand. I learned that data science is a powerful tool that can help businesses analyze. the mass of data that they deal with and to make decisions.

I don't know why you can't mention the name of the country. As for the school, don't they want people to know about them?
 
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