[Essay] Motivational letter for a college

[red347]

Hello! I am writing a motivational letter to apply to a college. I was hoping that you could have a look at my grammar and comment on my letter to make it better. I have changed my college name to [UNAME] and high school [HSNAME]:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to apply for the CG Animation and Special Effects program at [UNAME]. At the present, I am studying at [HSNAME], in a section specialized in languages such as English and French.

My aim is to be an animator whether in movies or video games. Therefore I have decided to enroll in CG Animation and Special Effects program and gain a deeper understanding of the theoretical knowledge and practice experience as well as finding an environment to test myself. What strike my interest about this program is the opportunity to thrive on challenges, the teach of seeing ordinary things in the most peculiar way as possible, hence the development of creativity. But most of all it's the ability to capture dreams and bring it to reality.

The main reason I enjoy animation is that I grew up with animations, I have always admire them of different style ever since I was a child such as stop-motion animation, 2D and 3D animation and many video games. For this reason, I had set my heart on the path of an animator . I am confident that I have the capable mindset to adapt to the educational system of your country. Moreover, I believe that the experience of studying and possibly working abroad would help me to further develop myself.

Therefore, my goal is to further develop my aptitude and improve them to a degree that would allow to fully understand the sophistication of the animating process. I would very much like to achieve this through studying and following the CG Animation and Special Effects course within [UNAME].

 

[Tarheel]

Rather than saying "I set my heart on the path of an animator" say "I set my heart on becoming an animator".

 

[Tarheel]

The formatting is good, and the paragraphs are of a reasonable length. At present, I have only one suggestion. In your first paragraph (second sentence), say:

At present....

More later. (Maybe.)

 

[red347]

what about ideas? Anything to add/remove?

 

[Tarheel]

OK. Let's look at the second paragraph. In the first sentence I would use goal instead of aim and become instead of be. However, the original sentence is not wrong. For the second sentence, perhaps:

Therefore, I have decided to enroll in the CG Animation and Special Effects program and gain a deeper understanding of theoretical knowledge and practical experience as well as finding an environment in which I can test myself.

And:

What interests me in this program is the opportunity....

I don't know what "the teach of seeing ordinary things in the most peculiar way possible" means.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

But most off all it's the ability to capture dreams and bring them to reality.

 

[Tarheel]

Animation

Say:

The main reason I enjoy animation is that I grew up with animations.

You need to put a period there and start another sentence.

(Most people in this country would probably say: I learned to love animation watching cartoons on TV.)

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Animation

Next sentence(s). Perhaps:

Since I was a child I have admired the different styles of animation such as stop-motion animation, 2-D animation, 3-D animation and various video games. For that reason, I set my heart on becoming an animator.