movement of head and hair

[alpacinou]

Hello everyone.

I am trying to describe a lady who plays the cello. Now, imagine, as she is playing, she shakes her head and it moves fast. Also, her ponytail moves strongly in the air.

What are two verbs I can use to describe the movement of her ponytail and also her head.

As she was playing the cello, her head...(verb) and her ponytail...(verb).

*If you can also add some metaphor after that verb and make it a bit poetic, you would be making my day.

 

[alpacinou]

Is this correct? :

As she was playing the cello, her head was bouncing robustly and her ponytail was swaying vigorously.

 

[GoesStation]

Is this correct? :

As she was playing the cello, her head was bouncing robustly and her ponytail was swaying vigorously.

It's grammatical but bouncing robustly really doesn't work. It sounds like it might not be attached to her shoulders.

 

[alpacinou]

It's grammatical but bouncing robustly really doesn't work. It sounds like it might not be attached to her shoulders.

So, what word do you suggest that would connote strong movement of her head?

 

[GoesStation]

So, what word do you suggest that would connote strong movement of her head?

Maybe her head was bobbing. I'd avoid the urge to use an adverb and let the reader's imagination, driven by evocative prose, supply the nuance.

Adverbs frequently degrade writing rather than improving it.

 

[alpacinou]

Maybe her head was bobbing. I'd avoid the urge to use an adverb and let the reader's imagination, driven by evocative prose, supply the nuance.

Adverbs frequently degrade writing rather than improving it.

Yes. I'm learning that adjectives and adverbs are not to be used excessively. But I need your help. Could you please write the sentence and show me an example of a case in which evocative prose supplies the nuance?
I would really appreciate that.

Imagine you want to describe a female cellist playing and her head and ponytail moves strongly.

 

[GoesStation]

I'll have to consider this for a while. I'm not a writer. What writing I've done has been drily technical, so describing such a scene will be quite a stretch for me.

Did you notice the adverb I slipped in? Don't eschew them entirely; just use them with care.

 

[alpacinou]

I'll have to consider this for a while. I'm not a writer. What writing I've done has been drily technical, so describing such a scene will be quite a stretch for me.

Alright then. Take your time and maybe put an example here later on.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

There are lots of words you can use.

For instance, hair can sway, bounce, wag, wave, or toss, and a head can rock, sway, bounce, or nod.

As folks above have said, it depends on what you want to say.

 

[alpacinou]

There are lots of words you can use.

For instance, hair can sway, bounce, wag, wave, or toss, and a head can rock, sway, bounce, or nod.

As folks above have said, it depends on what you want to say.

Imagine you want to describe a female cellist having a vigorous performance. Hear head and her ponytail move strongly as she is playing.
Since you are a writer, could you have a go at this and write down a dramatic sentence? Show me how it's done!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hello, Al -

There isn't one way to say it. It depends on what you want the reader to imagine. Only you know what that is.

Do you know what the words I suggested mean? If not, look them up.

Once you know what you mean, compose something and show it to us. Then we'll discuss it.

Thanks!

 

[alpacinou]

Hello, Al -

There isn't one way to say it. It depends on what you want the reader to imagine. Only you know what that is.

Do you know what the words I suggested mean? If not, look them up.

Once you know what you mean, compose something and show it to us. Then we'll discuss it.

Thanks!

Okay. What do you think about this?

Her head bounced and her ponytail swayed as her consummate fingers moved up and down the cello's fingerboard with dizzying speed.

Could you please write down an example yourself. I want to suggest intense and strong movement of head and ponytail but I don't know how.

 

[GoesStation]

No matter how accomplished they may be, fingers aren't "consummate".

 

[Tarheel]

I don't care much for the image of a bouncing head. It makes me think it might not be attached to the person's body. (I think I saw a movie once where a head bounced down a flight of stairs.)

Rather than looking for one word it might be better to go in a different direction. Perhaps:

She accompanied her playing with vigorous up and down movements of her head which made her ponytail fly around.

 

[alpacinou]

I don't care much for the image of a bouncing head. It makes me think it might not be attached to the person's body. (I think I saw a movie once where a head bounced down a flight of stairs.)

Rather than looking for one word it might be better to go in a different direction. Perhaps:

She accompanied her playing with vigorous up and down movements of her head which made her ponytail fly around.

Thanks. I like your suggestion. But the thing is, when you say "accompany", doesn't that connote intentional movement of head? Sometimes, these musicians become so immersed in the music they are playing that their movements are unintentional.

 

[alpacinou]

Maybe if you guys see this video, you better understand what it is I'm trying to describe. Just imagine she has a ponytail:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZdErwWfsc

 

[alpacinou]

Her movements do not appear to be intentional.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Thanks. I like your suggestion. But the thing is, when you say "accompany", doesn't that connote intentional movement of head? Sometimes, these musicians become so immersed in the music they are playing that their movements are unintentional.

That's a good point. But most musicians do move in time to their music, so you could think of it as a figurative use.

So I like Tarheel's use of it but understand your misgivings. As long as you know what they mean, use words that seem right to you.

 

[Tarheel]

Thanks. I like your suggestion. But the thing is, when you say "accompany", doesn't that connote intentional movement of head? Sometimes, these musicians become so immersed in the music they are playing that their movements are unintentional.

No. It doesn't mean she's doing it intentionally (or unintentionally). It just means that the movements are in tune (have the same rhythm as) with the music.

 

[Tarheel]

When she plays a slow piece she moves he head slower. When she plays a fast piece she moves it faster. It's all about the music.