[Essay] number of cars in future!!!

[m.beh]

Hi friends,
I am trying to practice my writing. Here is one of my essays. I would e happy if you read it and tell me what is your opinion about it. Is it good developed? Also, it would be good if you correct my punctuation and grammar, so I can learn from it.
Thank you

Do you agree or disagree with sentence below:
In few years, there will be fewer cars in use than today.



Now a days, cars are main means of transportation for people. People use cars for going from somewhere to somewhere else in their home town or out of it. Beside many advantages, using cars has some disadvantages including air pollution. Although some people hope there will be fewer cars in streets in near future, in my opinion, the number of cars in use will be increase in twenty years form now because of two reasons.

First, the number of cars in streets will be grow because the population of people will grow. More people means more cars. As the population increase, there will be more demand for transportation and this could be the cause of more car usage. For example, my uncle lives in a little city. He remembers that, twenty years ago, there are few families living in their town. Their town has just one school and that was enough for children, living in their area. There were few cars in streets. My uncle do not remembers any traffic in street twenty years ago. However, now, after twenty year, children of his town grow old and they have their own family and children. The number of children in that town is increased. That is why the town hall build a new school. Even though the number of classes in schools become twice as twenty years ago, there is not enough places for all the children to attend school. My uncle told me that there are more cars in street and every day there is a heavy traffic in the morning and afternoon. With more people living in his town, there are more car in use in it. It is what is happening in all regions of the world. The population will increase in twenty years and people will use more cars.

Second, with new technology, the car manufacturing rate will increase and, also, more kinds of cars will be available. When car factory can make more cars, the cars number will be increase in streets. In addition, families buys different kinds of cars for different purpose, for instance, cars for everyday use, travelling, and off road trips. As an example I could write about my own family. Twenty years ago, when my parents did not have any child, my family just had one car. Which is named Paykan. In those years, there were just two kinds of cars manufactured in my country. Hence people did not have so many options for buying cars. Car factories make car in slow rates. That is why, people got the car from factories more than six months after they register for one. Now, there are nearly 30 kinds of cars manufactured in my country. In addition, the car will be ready, just, the day after registration. Hence, there are more cars in use in my country. For instance, now, my parents have two children including me. We have four cars. One for family trips. My mother and father each have their own cars for personal usage. Even, we have a small car which use electricity for moving. New technology enhanced car manufacture so every person can have more cars in future.

In summary, although some people oppose the opinion of increasing cars in use in twenty years, I have a different idea. In my opinion there will be more cars in street in future because population will grow and with new technology we will see more kinds of cars manufacture with high speed. I hope that there will be more environment friendly cars in future. Thus, more cars don’t harm our environment.

 

[teechar]

Hi friends,
I am trying to practice my writing. Here is one of my essays. I would be happy if you read it and tell me [STRIKE]what is[/STRIKE] your opinion about it. Is it [STRIKE]good[/STRIKE] well developed? Also, it would be good if you correct my punctuation and grammar, so I can learn from it.
Thank you.

Do you agree or disagree with the sentence below?
In a few years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.



Nowadays, cars are the main means of transportation for people. People use cars for their everyday short-distance commuting within their hometown as well as for national and even international travel. [STRIKE]going from somewhere to somewhere else in their home town or out of it. Beside[/STRIKE] However, despite their many advantages, [STRIKE]using[/STRIKE] cars [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] have some disadvantages, including their significant contribution to air pollution. Although some people [STRIKE]hope[/STRIKE] believe there will be fewer cars [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on the road [STRIKE]streets[/STRIKE] in the near future, in my opinion, the number of cars in use will [STRIKE]be[/STRIKE] continue to increase in [STRIKE]twenty years form now[/STRIKE] in future because of two reasons.

First, the number of cars [STRIKE]in streets[/STRIKE] will be grow because the world population [STRIKE]of people will[/STRIKE] continues to grow unabated. More people means more cars. As the population increases, there will be more demand for transportation, and especially for cars. [STRIKE]and this could be the cause of more car usage.[/STRIKE] For example, my uncle lives in a little city. He remembers that, twenty years ago, there [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] were only a few families living in [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] his town. The [STRIKE]ir[/STRIKE] town [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] had just one school and that was enough for the children living in their area. There were few cars [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on the streets there. My uncle does not remembers any traffic [STRIKE]in street[/STRIKE] jams twenty years ago. However, now, after twenty years, those children [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in his town have grown up, [STRIKE]old[/STRIKE] and they have their own families and children. In other words, the number of [STRIKE]children[/STRIKE] people living in that town [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] has increased. That is why the town hall build a new school. Even though the number of classes in schools become twice as twenty years ago, there is not enough places for all the children to attend school. My uncle told me that there are more cars [STRIKE]in street[/STRIKE] there now, and every day there is heavy traffic in the morning and afternoon. [STRIKE]With more people living in his town, there are more car in use in it. It is what[/STRIKE] That same trend is happening [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] all over [STRIKE]regions of[/STRIKE] the world. [STRIKE]The population will increase in twenty years and people will use more cars.[/STRIKE]


In summary, although some people may disagree, [STRIKE]oppose the opinion of increasing cars in use in twenty years,[/STRIKE] I believe that there will be more cars on the road in the future. [STRIKE]have a different idea.[/STRIKE] In my opinion, there will be more cars [STRIKE]in street in future[/STRIKE] because the world population will continue to [STRIKE]grow and with new technology we will see more kinds of cars manufacture with high speed.[/STRIKE] I hope that there will be more environmentally friendly cars in future, such that [STRIKE]Thus,[/STRIKE] more cars [STRIKE]don’t[/STRIKE] won't necessarily harm our environment.

Your second paragraph is not convincing, so I didn't bother to correct it. You could have talked about people having more money (and thus able to afford cars), or about cars becoming cheaper in price (more fuel efficient, smaller, etc.). The text in yellow is off topic.