please check my Statement of purpose and correct

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Mar 20, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Name: Muhammad Fahim Aamir.


I have always aspired to choose a career in a field that really stimulates me and holds a natural appeal to me. Today as I stand at the pathway of learning, I have with out hesitation chosen the field that excites me the most and draw the best of my abilities. The very quest to resolve the basic underlying principle of programming has been a source of tremendous inspiration and has promoted me to choose computers as my undergraduate and postgraduate.

My inspiration to pursue a career in computer science was kindled by my high grades in Master of computer science and further due to my desire for challenging career. Computers was always been a compelling interest to me. Not only because of the depth of research that is possible in the fields, this being a developing field and I am aware that there is a large scope for improvement and vast exposure. I wish to pursue higher grades in my higher studies in this field.

I was very fortunate to have my foundation of my education in metropolitan government boys school Karachi Pakistn, where my aptitude for mathematics & science developed and was very keenly interested in these subjects. After completing my higher secondary school government boys inter college Karachi Pakistan one of the leading colleges that produced excellent teaching staff & toppers. After completing my Intermediate educations I studied bachelor of arts (B.A) from Karachi university. After B.A I completed graduate from Preston university Karachi, my interesting subjects are database designing , software engineering, system analysis ,web designing, business process and business process reengineering. In 2006 I started my Master’s in computer science from Iqra university Karachi, in Master’s I selected Data warehouse, Data Mining , database designing , software engineering, web application analysis and business process reengineering subjects, in Master’s program my thesis on business intelligence in education sector.

During the few years of my studies, I was exposed to fundamental aspects and potentials of my Software engineering and data mining. Which helped me gain a sfirm grasp of fundamentals as well as developed a special liking for the Computer basics and its applications?


For the past five years I have been working as a system analysis cum computer programmer at the Iqra University. I am working on the design and development of a " online university system in java language " and “Data warehouse knowledge base system in Oracle “. This long period has given me invaluable practical experience. It has given me the confidence to pursue a PhD degree and also kindled a desire to do research.


I got knowledge from your brochure and various other sources about the extensive research being under taken, especially in my areas of interest under the guidance of your best faculty and state of art at your esteemed university. I see you give good facility to student in study, research, fee and other.

Given a chance to pursue RESEARCH study at your university. I am confident of my ability to measure up to your standards. I hope my application will be received forwardly and assure you that my interest and dedication will be reflected in my course work. An assistantship will certainly go a long way in motivating me further and strengthening my determination to realize my career objectives.

My sole aim for coming to your country is to complete my PhD in computer science that will enhance my career opportunities when I return to Pakistan.
Jun 21, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
I've already revised the introduction in another post. Remember: My website offers an editing service.

I'll provide additional suggestions:

1. Reduce passivity
2. Focus on punctuation
3. Revise awkward sentence structures

You sound like a qualified and ambitious applicant here. :up:
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