Please correct if needed. Thank you.

Yanko

New member
Joined
Jul 16, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Russian Federation
The task is:
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter,

  • tell him which team won
  • describe the conditions on the day
  • say how you felt about the match

My letter:

Dear John,
I felt sorry to hear about your accident. Hope you will recover soon.
I would like to tell you about the match you missed on weekend. First 20 minutes we were attacked by opposite team very hard. Their pressing was very intensive but we were able to handle it for 20 minutes and they scored. We were losing till 15 minutes of the second half and then we made a counter-attack and scored. This goal relieved our team then 5 minutes later we scored another one and won the match.
Well, weather conditions were pretty crazy that day. It was sunny first 30 minutes after it became cloudy. On the beginning of the second half it was raining a little and it gradually led to showers.
I was so happy that we could motivate ourselves and won the match. But I was injured a little at the end of the match and exhausted after the match.

Sincerely yours,
Josh
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Who gave you this task? When are you going to submit it for marking/grading?
 

Yanko

New member
Joined
Jul 16, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Russian Federation
Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Who gave you this task? When are you going to submit it for marking/grading?

Dear emsr2d2 ,

This is just example task from IELTS Test. I'm trying to practice writing but I need feedback on my text to understand my mistakes and improve.

Thank you!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
The task is:
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter,

  • tell him which team won
  • describe the conditions on the day
  • say how you felt about the match

My letter:

Dear John,

I [STRIKE]felt[/STRIKE] was sorry to hear about your accident. I hope you [strike]will[/strike] recover soon.

I would like to tell you about the match you missed on the weekend (in BrE, "at the weekend).

For the first 20 minutes we were attacked by the opposite team very hard. [STRIKE]Their pressing[/STRIKE] It was very intensive but we were able to handle it [STRIKE]for 20 minutes[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] but then they scored.

We were losing till the 15th [STRIKE]minutes[/STRIKE] minute of the second half and then we made a counter-attack and scored. [STRIKE]This goal[/STRIKE] We were relieved, and then, 5 minutes later, [STRIKE]our team then 5 minutes later [/STRIKE] we scored [STRIKE]another one[/STRIKE] again and won the match.

[STRIKE]Well,[/STRIKE] The weather [STRIKE]conditions[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] was pretty crazy that day. It was sunny for the first 30 minutes but after that it became cloudy. [STRIKE]On[/STRIKE] At the beginning of the second half it was raining only a little [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] but [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]gradually led to[/STRIKE] the showers became more prolonged.

I was so happy that we [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] were able to motivate ourselves and that we won the match. [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] However, by the end of the match, I [STRIKE]was injured a little at the end of the match[/STRIKE] had picked up a slight injury and I was exhausted. [STRIKE]after the match.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]Sincerely yours,[/STRIKE] (This is rather formal for a letter to a friend)

Take care/Cheers/Bye for now/I hope to speak to you soon

Josh

See above.
 
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