Please correct me if I am wrong anywere in the below passage

[nandhusri2007]

As discussed over the call last Friday, would be very thankful if you could provide your support in finding the better solution of improving the “X” mechanism for Greece business with the aid of Sam’s team in Philippines.

Also, as I stated, would be arranging a conference call with all relevant parties to discuss the same.

Many thanks in advance

 

[emsr2d2]

As discussed [STRIKE]over the call[/STRIKE] by telephone last Friday, I would be very [STRIKE]thankful[/STRIKE] grateful if you could provide your support in finding [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a better [STRIKE]solution[/STRIKE] way of improving the “X” mechanism for Greece business (do you mean business with Greece, or Greek business?) with the aid of Sam’s team in the Philippines.

Also, as I stated, I [STRIKE]would be arranging[/STRIKE] will arrange a conference call with all relevant parties to discuss the same.

Many thanks in advance.

See above.

 

[nandhusri2007]

Thank you Sir !
Yes, I meant "business with Greece"
Just for my understanding, "over the call / would be arranging" is a grammitcal mistake ?

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you Sir !
Yes, I meant "business with Greece"
Just for my understanding, "over the call / would be arranging" is a grammitcal mistake ?

You might have been able to use "over the phone" but we don't say "over the call". "As discussed by telephone" is a regularly used phrase.

If you were using indirect speech, you could have said "During the call, I said I would be arranging a conference call. I will do that soon".

 

[nandhusri2007]

Thanks !

one more doubt I have is, my colleague told me that we should not use proper nouns often while writing business email ( such as I, We etc...) that's the reason I haven't used in many places.

Is it true?

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks !

one more doubt I have is, my colleague told me that we should not use proper nouns often while writing business email ( such as I, We etc...) that's the reason I haven't used in many places.

Is it true?

I can see no reason at all why your colleague would have told you that. It's very difficult to construct a sentence, especially in a business email/letter between two people who have previously had contact, without using personal pronouns.

 

[nandhusri2007]

Thank you Sir !

How to address you in my post? could I have ur name pls?

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you Sir !

How to address you in my post? could I have ur name pls?

We just use usernames on here, so I am "emsr2d2"!!

(But for information, I am not a "Sir"! :-D )

 

[nandhusri2007]

sorry