[Essay] Please Correct my"Enriques journey" intro.

[josedlt]

[FONT=&quot]Enrique’s Journey[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] In the book Enrique’s Journey written by Sonia Nazario, a projects reporter for the Los Angeles Times, Nazario talks about the true story of a young Honduran boy named Enrique that was abandoned at the age of 5 by his mother Lourdes. His mom left to the United States as an immigrant to work so she can be able to give her poor children a better living. After 11 years of tears, sadness and loneliness pass Enrique decides to go to North Carolina in search of his mother. Traveling from Honduras across the Mexican republic and “El Tren De La Muerte” The Train of the Death, Enrique sets off his long journey to find his beloved mother. Enrique's journey was a book with many clear series of events such as risks, struggles, and feelings. These events captivate most of the readers which makes it a fascinating more unforgetful reading experience.[/FONT]

 

[5jj]

This appears to be a homework assignment.

Please don't ask us to do or correct your homework; this is a place to discuss language.

 

[josedlt]

It actually is a homework assignment, but why not ask for help to those who are high in the English to get better in my writing? All im asking for is a quick review of my introduction. A courteous comment such as "Good Intro" or "Needs work" etc. would be appreciative.

 

[TheParser]

[FONT=&quot]Enrique’s Journey[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]In the book Enrique’s Journey written by Sonia Nazario, a projects reporter for the Los Angeles Times, Nazario talks about the true story of a young Honduran boy named Enrique that was abandoned at the age of 5 by his mother Lourdes. His mom left to the United States as an immigrant to work so she can be able to give her poor children a better living. After 11 years of tears, sadness and loneliness pass Enrique decides to go to North Carolina in search of his mother. Traveling from Honduras across the Mexican republic and “El Tren De La Muerte” The Train of the Death, Enrique sets off his long journey to find his beloved mother. Enrique's journey was a book with many clear series of events such as risks, struggles, and feelings. These events captivate most of the readers which makes it a fascinating more unforgetful reading experience.[/FONT]

********** NOT A TEACHER **********


You have done a very good job. You seem to be a very good student.

I would suggest just a few changes.



(1) In the book Enrique's Journey .... (book titles are often underlined).

(2) Enrique who was abandoned ....

(3)his mother, Lourdes. (comma)

(4) His mom went to the United States so that she could provide

her children with a better life.

(5) After 11 years of tears, sadness and loneliness, Enrique decides ....

(6) across the Mexican republic on "El Tren de Muerte" ("The Train of

Death"), Enrique sets off ....

(7) was a book with many events, such as ....

(8) These events captivate the readers and make Enrique's Journey

a fascinating and unforgettable reading experience.


Good luck. Hope that you get an "A."


********** NOT A TEACHER **********