Please correct my motivation letter

vincentne

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Joined
Apr 22, 2017
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Student or Learner
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Dutch
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Belgium
Current Location
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Hello everybody. I need some help with my application letter for a internship in New Zealand. The letter is written to a woman thats going to help me find a intership. Anyway I really appreciate any opinion about the content and any review about grammar and spelling mistakes. Thanks you so much in advance.
Cheers


Dear Ms Daffodil,

My name is John Smith, 19 years old and I am a second-year student at University College XYX situated in Belgium. As part of the degree requirements, I must complete a 3-months internship in my third year.

I am currently pursuing my Professional Bachelor in Applied informatics and at our University, we understand the importance of gaining practical knowledge which will complement the textbook knowledge and help a student gain a wider perspective of the subjects.

Laden with textbook knowledge, I wish to implement the skills that I have learned, in the real world. What better way to prove that I have truly been benefited by this education, and what better place to start, than a country as New Zealand?

Why studying abroad and why New Zealand? All my life I had parents to count on, had always clean clothes, fresh bedsheets and a healthy meal. Abroad I'm going to have the opportunity to be self-sufficient and independent, to see the things that I can achieve on my own. It will also give me a chance to lay new connections, improve my English and working in a different culture. New Zealand has a growing digital market with result a lot of young innovative companies.

I look forward to hearing from you

Yours sincerely,

John Smith
 
Last edited by a moderator:

teechar

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Feb 18, 2015
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Iraq
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Iraq
Re: Please kindly correct my motivation letter

Hello everybody. I need some help with my application letter for an internship in New Zealand. The letter is written to a woman that's going to help me find an internship. Anyway, I would really appreciate any opinion about the content and any a review [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] of the grammar. [STRIKE]and spelling mistakes.[/STRIKE] Thank you so much in advance.
Cheers!


Dear Ms Daffodil,

My name is John Smith, and I am 19 years old. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] I am a second-year student at University College XYX [STRIKE]situated[/STRIKE] in Belgium. As part of the degree requirements, I must complete a 3-month internship in my third year.

I am currently [STRIKE]pursuing my Professional[/STRIKE] studying for my Bachelor in Applied informatics, and at our university, we [STRIKE]understand[/STRIKE] highly value the importance of gaining practical experience [STRIKE]knowledge which will[/STRIKE] to complement the [STRIKE]textbook[/STRIKE] theoretical knowledge and help a student gain a wider perspective of their subjects.

[STRIKE]Laden with textbook knowledge,[/STRIKE] Thus, I wish to have the opportunity to put into practice [STRIKE]implement[/STRIKE] the skills that I have learned, [STRIKE], in the real world.[/STRIKE] and what better [STRIKE]way to prove that I have truly been benefited by this education, and what better place to start, than a[/STRIKE] country [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] than New Zealand to consider?

[STRIKE] Why studying abroad and why New Zealand? All my life I had parents to count on, had always clean clothes, fresh bedsheets and a healthy meal.[/STRIKE] By studying abroad, I'm going to have the opportunity to be self-sufficient and independent, and to [STRIKE]see the things that[/STRIKE] discover what I can achieve on my own. It will also give me a chance to [STRIKE]lay[/STRIKE] make new connections, improve my English and work [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] in a different culture. Moreover, New Zealand has a growing digital market with [STRIKE]result a lot[/STRIKE] plenty of young innovative companies.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

John Smith
.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
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British English
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UK
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UK
Re: Please kindly correct my motivation letter

Wow, what a nice motivation letter. Especially [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the part (no comma here) [STRIKE]when[/STRIKE] in which you explain about New Zealand.

See above.
 
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