pandapuma
New member
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2021
- Member Type
- Academic
- Native Language
- English
- Home Country
- Brazil
- Current Location
- Portugal
To whomever this may concern, there was a dispute today regarding a simple manner of speaking...I would like to know if I may have been incorrect of if my partner misspoke instead....please help us figure this out! I signed up for this website for this specific reason...
Basically I would like clarification regarding if you WANT someone to come back once they leave is it better to say "So you are NOT coming back then?" or "So ARE you coming back"....????
Personally I feel like the latter is more intentional on that you WANT the person to come back whereas the first is more uncaring....but I would like a professional opinion please!!
If more clarification is needed, this was the discussion:
My boyfriend and I were sitting at the dinner table and I mentioned I needed to head to my place to drop some things off and pick some up. We had made Easter plans together for Sunday but had no specific plans for Saturday, despite us being together every weekend.
So I mention to him I need to head home to which he replied: So your not coming back later then?
To which I said"....I suppose no...." And he then replies, "Why not?", with a particularly sad face.
I then tell him, "Well because it doesn't seem like you want me to haha"
He becomes shocked and confused so I tell him, I was mainly joking but for the future I asked him not to say "So your NOT coming back?" and instead say "So ARE you coming back?" Because the first makes it SEEM like you would rather not see me later, whereas the latter makes it feel more like you want me to.
He completely disagreed arguing that was not what he meant but we ended up getting into a small argument due to disagreeing on the grammatical correctness....so we just really wanted this clarified as I could find noting of the sort online.
Thank you very much in advance!!
Basically I would like clarification regarding if you WANT someone to come back once they leave is it better to say "So you are NOT coming back then?" or "So ARE you coming back"....????
Personally I feel like the latter is more intentional on that you WANT the person to come back whereas the first is more uncaring....but I would like a professional opinion please!!
If more clarification is needed, this was the discussion:
My boyfriend and I were sitting at the dinner table and I mentioned I needed to head to my place to drop some things off and pick some up. We had made Easter plans together for Sunday but had no specific plans for Saturday, despite us being together every weekend.
So I mention to him I need to head home to which he replied: So your not coming back later then?
To which I said"....I suppose no...." And he then replies, "Why not?", with a particularly sad face.
I then tell him, "Well because it doesn't seem like you want me to haha"
He becomes shocked and confused so I tell him, I was mainly joking but for the future I asked him not to say "So your NOT coming back?" and instead say "So ARE you coming back?" Because the first makes it SEEM like you would rather not see me later, whereas the latter makes it feel more like you want me to.
He completely disagreed arguing that was not what he meant but we ended up getting into a small argument due to disagreeing on the grammatical correctness....so we just really wanted this clarified as I could find noting of the sort online.
Thank you very much in advance!!