please help me check it

[whocanhelpme]

Please help me check my errors, and explain my mistakes. Thank you a lot.

 

[Tarheel]

Rice exports

Rice exports (from Vietnam) decreased in 2014.

The target of the Vietnam Food Association (VFA) was to export 6.2 million tonnes of rice in 2014, reduced slightly against the target of 6.5 million tonnes forecast [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] early in 2014.

Rice exports [STRIKE]volume exported[/STRIKE] to Asia & Africa [STRIKE]market[/STRIKE] accounted for 83% of the total rice exports, and the rest of that was exported to America, Europe, and Oceania.

Vietnamese rice export prices in 2014 fluctuated quite sharply due to fierce competition.

Please note that Thailand is one word.

 

[whocanhelpme]

Re: Rice exports

Thank you so much.:angel::angel::angel:

 

[Tarheel]

Almost throughout 2014, rice export prices of Thai lan were cheaper than that of Vietnam - rarely seen in history because Thailand had abundant supplies, and Thai baht depreciated sharply at many stages so rice export prices of Thai land converted into U.S dollars became cheaper.

Say:

Almost throughout 2014, the price of rice from Thailand was less than the price of rice from Vietnam.
​

(You need to make that really really long sentence into two or three shorter sentences that will be easier for the reader understand.)

Please note that prices go up, and prices go down. Also, while commodities may be either cheaper or more expensive, prices are neither. They are simply higher or lower.

 

[whocanhelpme]

But I have to translate it like that because of the original text (in vietnamese). Is this sentence right?.

 

[whocanhelpme]

Thank again, after you correct my errors, may I cancel this thread. This is my homework, so I scare my teacher can see it and he may tell me off.:2gunfire:

 

[Tarheel]

The sentence as written is unclear.

You could say:

Rice from Thailand cost less than rice from Vietnam.
​

(Saying something cost less is the same as saying it was cheaper.)

 

[Tarheel]

Almost throughout 2014, rice export prices of Thai lan were cheaper than that of Vietnam - rarely seen in history because Thailand had abundant supplies, and Thai baht depreciated sharply at many stages so rice export prices of Thai land converted into U.S dollars became cheaper.

You don't actually say why it is something rarely seen in history. But you do say that the fluctuations in the price of rice had to do with the currencies of the countries involved. (Maybe you should stick to 2014 and forget about history. It is not good to complicate things so much that you confuse people.)

However, according to the Ministry of Trade and Industry, 2014, also noted that large volumes of rice exports were exported to the Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia , while still maintaining the speed of rice exporting to China even in stressful periods in the East Sea.

That is another one of those really long sentences that should be shortened to one or two shorter, simpler sentences.

After a decrease in price in quarter I (US$ 372/ ton for 5% broken rice in the middle of March), rice export prices of Vietnam flourished back after signing a big contract to export 800,000 tonnes of rice to the Philippines.

Rice is something that cannot flourish. Neither can the price of rice flourish. You could say that the price of rice went up, enabling rice exporters to make more money.


Well, you don't have that much work left to do, but you should definitely rewrite some of that to make the sentences easier to understand.

 

[whocanhelpme]

You are so kind. I will rewrite . May I cancel this thread. I scare my teacher. ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 

[Tarheel]

You would delete the thread, not cancel it. And there is a one in a million chance that your teacher would ever see it. (How would your teacher know who posted it even if your teacher saw this thread? (Unlikely.) I suggest that you make any necessary changes then post the revised essay right here. Please remember the advice I gave you.

TTYL

 

[emsr2d2]

If your teacher found out you were getting help here before submitting your homework, he/she should tell you off. Our rules say that we do not help with homework. You were lucky to get away with it this time. Normally, we spot homework very quickly and close threads.

 

[whocanhelpme]

I'm so sorry, Teachers.
I will never do it again.
Please forgive me.