please proofread my motivation letter for an internship

havfru

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motivation letter for an internship that focusses on helping expats and intercultural training

Your advertisement for the above position, which I found on the official website of your company has interested me very much and I have pleasure in enclosing my Curriculum Vitae as well as my university transcripts.

In the process of completing my studies of xxxx at the University of xxxx, I am writing to apply for an internship, starting in February 2018. The internship is held in the framework of my studies and should ideally last at last three and up to four months. Hence, an internship in the Social Media department of your company would give me the opportunity to gain significant working experience in a relevant field of my studies.

As you can see from my résumé, I also have a Bachelor’s in Applied Communications, which I obtained at xxxx.

Being an expat myself who has lived in XXXX, I am intimately familiar with the challenges an expat has to face, knowing from first-hand experience what it really means to become immersed in a culture different from your own, but also what advantages a stay abroad can offer on both a personal and professional level.

My previous experience as a PR and marketing intern in a NGO and a company that focuses on health care products during which I helped to manage social media, wrote articles and carried out other administrative tasks, makes me a well-qualified applicant for this position.

I am highly motivated and thanks to my experience I am capable of succeeding in a deadline driven environment and to work both on my own initiative and as part of a team.
I am excited by the chance to contribute to your organization and am prepared to engage in continuous learning.

For the above reasons, I would particularly welcome the opportunity of discussing the possibilities at an interview. I can be contacted on xxxx

Yours sincerely,

What do you think about it? Is it understandable or should I be more concise?
 

teechar

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Hello havfru, and welcome to the forum. :)

I am writing to apply for an internship position with your company, starting in February 2018.

I found your advertisement for the above position [STRIKE], which I found[/STRIKE] on the official website of your company, [STRIKE]has interested me[/STRIKE] and I am very much interested in this internship. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] I have the pleasure in enclosing my curriculum vitae as well as my university transcripts with this application.

Currently, I am in the process of completing my studies of xxxx at the University of xxxx. , The internship is held in the framework of my studies and should ideally last at last three and up to four months. Hence, an internship in the Social Media Department of your company would give me the opportunity to gain significant work [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] experience in a [STRIKE]relevant[/STRIKE] field relevant to [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] my studies.

As you can see from my résumé, I also have a bachelor’s in applied communications, which I obtained at xxxx.

Being an expat myself who has lived in XXXX, I am intimately familiar with the challenges an expat has to face, knowing from first-hand experience what it really means to become immersed in a culture different from your own, but also what advantages a stay abroad can offer on both a personal and a professional level.

My previous experience as a PR and marketing intern in a NGO and a company [Are these two different internships?] that focuses on healthcare products during which I helped to manage social media, wrote articles and carried out other administrative tasks, makes me a well-qualified applicant for this position.

I am highly motivated and, thanks to my experience, I am capable of succeeding in a deadline-driven environment and [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] of working both independently [STRIKE]on my own initiative[/STRIKE] and as part of a team.
I am excited by the chance to contribute to your organization and am prepared to engage in continuous learning.

[STRIKE]For the above reasons,[/STRIKE] I would particularly welcome the opportunity [STRIKE]of discussing the possibilities[/STRIKE] discuss my application at an interview. I can be contacted on xxxx.

Yours sincerely,
I don't understand the text highlighted in blue. Also if you're addressing this letter "dear sir/madam", use "yours faithfully."
 

havfru

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Joined
May 4, 2017
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Student or Learner
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German
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Germany
Current Location
Germany
Hello havfru, and welcome to the forum. :)


I don't understand the text highlighted in blue. Also if you're addressing this letter "dear sir/madam", use "yours faithfully."

thank you very much! concerning the text in blue, I just wanted to say that this internship is part of my studies and in order to complete my studies I have to do one. I just did not know how to put in "nicer" English.

And concerning the other comment: yes I am talking about two different internships, for two different companies there. Should I better rephrase this sentence in order to avoid confusion? If so, how?

Also: is it; I would particularly welcome the opportunity of discussing the possibilities discuss my application at an interview. I can be contacted on xxxx.

I would particularly welcome the opportunity TO discuss?
 

teechar

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Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
[STRIKE]The[/STRIKE] As part of my study program, I am required to complete an internship [STRIKE]is held in the framework of my studies and should ideally last at last[/STRIKE] for three [STRIKE]and up[/STRIKE] to four months.

My previous experience as a PR and marketing intern in a NGO and with a company that focuses on healthcare products during which I helped to manage social media, wrote articles and carried out other administrative tasks, makes me a well-qualified applicant for this position.
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