Please suggest corrections, and assess the potential score on this task-2

Rezafo

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Task 2, IETLS,
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


These days there is a controversy among people about whether the largest amount of budget should be invested in the expansion of fast trains shuttling between cities or it should be spent on the rise of the public transport quality in cities. Although, it cannot be denied the important role of swift train in transporting daily commuters, it seems to me that the government should pay more attention to the improvement of public transportations means.

There are various reasons why some people emphasis that national policy makers should expand high speed rail. Nowadays many people always complain about the problems of lack of the time which have been imposed by modern life. By the use of fast trains, daily commuters are able to travel greater distance in a shorter time and therefore afford them a great opportunity to better able to manage their time. In addition to this, the environmental risks resulted by the increase of cars in high ways is large enough to be seen. It is obvious that the construction more modern fast trains, help societies to better able to counter the growing problem. A survey conducted by European Environmental Protection Agency, reveals after constructing some new railway in Germany and England in 1999 they have witnessed the amount of pollutants decreased dramatically by 19%.


However, I agree with those who argue that the improvement of public transportations should be a priority for governments. These days many cities in all over the world witness population explosion. Under the circumstances, it is not surprising that day by day the number of people using public transportation means are on the rise. This trend clearly coerces governments to revolutionize public navigation systems. Furthermore, poor air quality and more annoying traffic jams are some of the adverse consequences of using private cars in large cities. Allocating more money on public transportations means allows governments to provide healthier milieu for both the citizens and next generation.


In conclusion, Albeit, the improvement of high speed rail can help daily commuter to save time and beneficial for environments, I believe that governments should pay more attention to public transport. Or else all society should get along with destructive consequences of the delinquency.
 

teechar

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Task 2, IETLS,
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

[STRIKE] These days[/STRIKE] There is [STRIKE]a controversy among people[/STRIKE] much debate about whether [STRIKE]the largest amount of budget[/STRIKE] substantial public funds should be invested in the expansion of intercity fast-train networks [STRIKE]shuttling between cities[/STRIKE] or whether [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] the money should be spent on [STRIKE]the rise of the[/STRIKE] renovating existing public transport infrastructure. [STRIKE]quality in cities.[/STRIKE] Although [STRIKE], it cannot be denied[/STRIKE] the importance [STRIKE]t role[/STRIKE] of swift train services [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] transporting [STRIKE]daily[/STRIKE] commuters between major cities cannot be denied, [STRIKE]it seems to me that the[/STRIKE] I believe governments should pay more attention to the improvement of existing public transport services. [STRIKE]ations means.[/STRIKE]

There are various reasons why some people [STRIKE]emphasis that national policy makers should[/STRIKE] advocate spending money on expanding high-speed rail networks. Nowadays, many people travel long distances to get to work, and they always complain about the long time that takes. [STRIKE]problems of lack of the time which have been imposed by modern life.[/STRIKE] By [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] using [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] fast trains, daily commuters are able to travel greater distances in a shorter time. [STRIKE]and therefore afford them a great opportunity to better able to manage their time.[/STRIKE] In addition to this, providing more train services would help the environment in terms of less pollution from cars on the road. [STRIKE]al risks resulted by the increase of cars in high ways is large enough to be seen. It is obvious that the construction more modern fast trains, help societies to better able to counter the growing problem.[/STRIKE] A survey conducted by the European Environmental Protection Agency reveals that after the construction [STRIKE]ng some[/STRIKE] of new railway lines in Germany and England in 1999, [STRIKE]they have witnessed the amount[/STRIKE] the level of certain pollutants decreased by a dramatic [STRIKE]ally by[/STRIKE] 19%.

[STRIKE]However, I agree with those who[/STRIKE] On the other hand, there are even more compelling reasons to argue that the improvement of existing public transport infrastructure [STRIKE]ations[/STRIKE] should be a priority for governments. These days, many cities [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] all over the world have witnessed population explosions. Under the circumstances, it is not surprising that [STRIKE]day by day[/STRIKE] the number of people using public transportation [STRIKE]means are[/STRIKE] is on the rise. This trend clearly [STRIKE]coerces[/STRIKE] demands that governments [STRIKE]to revolutionize[/STRIKE] improve public [STRIKE]navigation[/STRIKE] transport systems. Furthermore, poor air quality and [STRIKE]more annoying[/STRIKE] traffic jams are some of the adverse consequences of using private cars in large cities. Allocating more money [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] to public transportation [STRIKE]s means[/STRIKE] allows governments to provide a healthier [STRIKE]milieu[/STRIKE] living environment for [STRIKE]both the[/STRIKE] its citizens and for future [STRIKE]next[/STRIKE] generations.

In conclusion, [STRIKE]Albeit, the improvement of[/STRIKE] even though investment into high-speed rail can [STRIKE]help daily commuter to save[/STRIKE] has time-saving and [STRIKE]beneficial for[/STRIKE] environmental benefits, [STRIKE]I believe[/STRIKE] it is clear that governments should pay more attention to improving existing public transport networks. [STRIKE]Or else all society should get along with destructive consequences of the delinquency.[/STRIKE]

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