[Essay] text check

Sophia_pumpkin

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Joined
Apr 9, 2017
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Russian Federation
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Hi! I would be grateful if you couls check these paragraphs. Thanks in advance!

The second part provides detailed information on the conveyed research. 150 respondents who represent equal groups basing on the criteria of gender and age filled in the questionnaire. The results of the research consisting of three main analysis: correlation, descriminant and claster proved the existence of accelerating and complicated society too opaque to be studied with the help of traditional sociological theories. What has to be pointed out is that social networks have embraced people from all over the world which despite the dispersion allows them to maintain social contacts. Up-to-the-minute gadgets give an opportunity to stay online whenever a person feels the urge to or whatever they do to sustain the existing relationships or establish the new ones. What is more, people become absorbed by the communicational whirlpool which presupposes adaptation to the Internet rules and norms the majority of which are transmitted and spread in the real life. Moreover, the research revealed that hardly do exist those who don’t have anonymous accounts which they use to express their thoughts more freely. Beyond what has been stated, the Internet users usually have to double-check the content they get as not only fake but also insulting information can be found. Of no importance might it seem at first sight but self-identity is being crippled by numerous contacts and the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life. Becoming less profound the very term of personality might be outshone by simulacra, symbols and signs.
 

teechar

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Feb 18, 2015
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English Teacher
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English
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Iraq
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Iraq
Hello Sophia, and welcome to the forum. :)

Hi! I would be grateful if you could check these paragraphs. Thanks in advance!

The second part provides detailed information on the conveyed research. [STRIKE]150[/STRIKE] One hundred and fifty respondents [STRIKE]who[/STRIKE] representing equal numbers from all the age groups and both genders [STRIKE]basing on the criteria of gender and age[/STRIKE] filled in the questionnaire. The results of the research consisting of three main analysis: correlation, descriminant and claster proved the existence of accelerating and complicated society, too opaque to be studied with the help of traditional sociological theories. What has to be pointed out is that social networks have embraced people from all over the world which, despite the separation, [STRIKE]dispersion[/STRIKE] allows them to maintain social contact. [STRIKE]Up-to-the-minute gadgets give[/STRIKE] Advanced technology provides an opportunity to stay online whenever a person feels the [STRIKE]urge[/STRIKE] need to or whatever they do to sustain the existing relationships or establish the new ones. What is more, people have become absorbed by the communication whirlpool which presupposes adaptation to the Internet rules and norms, the majority of which are transmitted and spread in the real life. Moreover, the research revealed that there are hardly [STRIKE]do exist those[/STRIKE] any people who don’t have anonymous accounts which they use to express their thoughts more freely. Beyond what has been stated, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Internet users usually have to double-check the content they get [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] not only [STRIKE]fake[/STRIKE] for authenticity, but also insulting information can be found. This [STRIKE]Of no importance[/STRIKE] might not [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] seem important at first sight but self-identity is being crippled by having numerous contacts and the necessity to construct a portrait in social networks according to which friends will treat a person in real life. Becoming less [STRIKE]profound[/STRIKE] important, the very term [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] personality might be outshone by simulacra, symbols and signs.
I'm afraid I don't understand the text highlighted in blue.
 
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