[Essay] the reason why I want to choose this university

ambitious-girl

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Could anyone please check this paragraph?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginia Tech university are so reasonable that I can afford to pay them; however, I am on a tight budget and sometimes I have financial difficulties. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.
 
Last edited:

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
Could anyone please check this paragraph?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginal Tech university are so reasonable that I can afford to pay them; however, I am on a tight budget and sometimes I have financial difficulties. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.

You seem to contradict yourself. In your first sentence, you said you can afford to pay the tuition fees and you also said you have financial difficulty. You should start a new sentence with "however".

I find the tuition fees for Virginal(Virginia?) Tech university reasonable and affordable.
The campus where I will be studying is located in Blacksburg where I find the cost of living affordable.
 

ambitious-girl

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
You seem to contradict yourself. In your first sentence, you said you can afford to pay the tuition fees and you also said you have financial difficulty.
Thanks. But I think you need to read our threads more carefully before you reply to our posts. I said "tuition fess" are so reasonable that although I am in tough budget, I can pay for it. That is why I used "however".
 

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
It is not natural to say "tuition fees are so reasonable that..".

Try:
The tuition fees at Virginia Tech University are reasonable though I am on a tight budget and do face financial difficulties at times.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
"The fees are so reasonable that, even though I am on a tight budget, I can afford them" is OK but that's not really what post #1 suggested.
 

ambitious-girl

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
I rewrite in the following way. Is this OK now?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginia Tech university are so reasonable that, even though I am on a tight budget and I do face financial difficulties at times, I can afford them. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.
 
Top