[Grammar] the study of the phenomenon

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Ashiuhto

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Nov 30, 2010
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Chinese
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Is the wording correct?

After the exploration and study of the phenomenon, we discover that some students who are addicted to using the social media cannot distribute their own time on entertainments and studies, and that hinders their schoolwork and interpersonal relationship.
 
'discoverED', probably. And 'distribute' sounds a bit odd. I'd say they can't 'manage the time they spend on...'. Also, it's a pretty long sentence. I'd make it two (or even three).

b
 
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