things that have gained permission to be brought in - acceptable

[JACEK1]

Hello everybody!

Only things that have previously gained permission from the Shipyard’s to be brought in or driven in may be brought into or driven into the premises of MSR „Gryfia” S.A.

I know that I already asked a similar question a few days ago but please bear with me and answer my question.

Does the whole sentence seem acceptable to you, especially the bolded fragment?

Thank you.

 

[J&K Tutoring]

1. Shipyard should not be capitalized, nor should it have the apostrophe-s

2. Things are not brought or driven "into" a premises- they are brought or driven "onto" premises.

3. I suggest the first part should be more precise and formal as in: 'Only items having received written permission (authorization) from the shipyard will be permitted to be driven or brought onto...' OR (more simply) 'Only items having received written authorization will be allowed on the premises...'

The blanket term 'shipyard' may be too general. Probably better to specify a person (title) or office the permission/authorization must come from.

 

[tedmc]

I think "things" sound too vague. You have been advised earlier on a similar question in an earlier thread.

Say something like:
This is a restricted area. Unauthorized entry is prohibited. (More serious note: Trespassers will be prosecuted)

 

[SoothingDave]

It's awful wordy. "only previously permitted items may be brought onto the premises."

I think he is capitalizing "Shipyard" like one might see "Company" used in legal writing.