Upon listening this

[Untaught88]

Hi,

Is the following paragraph correct?

''Upon listening this, father became silent. He thought what to say and what not to say. The children have gone to distant countries and are busy with their work. Sometimes their letters come telling of their well-being. What is this life? Look after your children and remain alone in the end. We tried to console father very much but his sadness kept on increasing.''

 

[Dena11]

Hi Untaught,

This is a very moving passage, you do a great job of creating feeling!

''Upon listening to this, father became silent. He thought about what to say and what not to say. The children are now in distant countries and [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] busy with their work. Sometimes their letters come telling him that they are well. What is this life? Looking after your children only to be alone in the end. We tried to console father[STRIKE] very much[/STRIKE], but his sadness [STRIKE]kept on increasing[/STRIKE] only grew.''
​

 

[Tarheel]

Hi,

Is the following paragraph correct?

''Upon hearing this, Father became silent. He thought about what to say and what not to say. The children were in distant countries and [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] busy with their work. Sometimes their letters come telling of their well-being. What is this life? Look after your children and remain alone in the end. We tried to console Father[STRIKE] very much[/STRIKE] but his sadness only grew.''

 

[Untaught88]

Please explain.

Why not "have gone"?

Why "were"? Can't I use "are"?

 

[Tarheel]

Why "were"? Can't I use "are"?

Maybe you can. It starts out in past tense, moves to present tense, then moves back to past tense. Tricky!

 

[Dena11]

I thought present tense was ok here because, while the overall passage is past tense, the "children are busy" was the father's thought in that moment. In the moment that he thought about it, it would be present tense. Present tense adds an intimacy to the image.