[Essay] Ways that humans are damaging the environment and solutions

[dcintel]

Hi all,

Please help me correct piece of writing for grammar and vocabulary. Purpose of this writing is for practicing only.

Topic:

Explain some of the ways in humans are damaging the environment. what can government do to address these problem? what can individual people do?

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Nowadays, there are many environmental problems that can be seen almost every day on TVs as well as their effects to humanity. All governments from all over the worlds and every people are working together to mitigate its effects to our lives.

It can be easily seen on the news that tons of different types of toxic chemicals are being transported into rivers and oceans every day or the way that we are damaging the coastline, which cause massive fish death. Take Vietnam for example, there was several strikes from environmental activists against a XXX company, which has been polluting rivers and oceans by exhaust fumes and chemicals they produce every day. In addition, thousands of fish and other marine creatures could be found along the coastline in rotten state near the company. Another way that humans are damaging our surroundings is to destroy a vast area of land in search of fossil fuels or to increase agricultural production. Those actions are increasingly causing impacts of climate changes and global warming such as flash floods and heatwave on the yearly basis.

However, governments and every inhabitants are incorporating together to take steps in order to protect our atmosphere. The simplest solution would be to raise awareness and responsibilities to every people. By raising awareness, people will become well-informed about its harmful impacts such as the global warming as well as climate change. Accountability helps against the consequences of climate change and preserve our environment for future generations. From individual perspective, there are something that we could do. Firstly, every individual should strictly obey any rules and laws. Secondly, every effort should be made to raise awareness among our family members, friends, colleagues and so on about the environmental impacts, such as trying to buy environmentally friendly products whenever possible.

In conclusion, although there are many consequences when people damage our environment, governments and every people are trying to take steps to protect it not only for us but for our future as well.

 

[teechar]

Again, you're focusing on form (appearance/looks) rather than substance. That is not good.

First body paragraph:
1- There is no topic sentence. You need a topic sentence at the start of the paragraph to define what the paragraph will be about.
2- You focused on water pollution. However, you are expected to list and briefly discuss the major environmental problems the world is facing.

Second body paragraph:
1- Your topic sentence talks only about the atmosphere. It needs to be broader than that.
2- You need to give more specific points/examples.

Conclusion:
1- You need to briefly sum up the main points/findings from your body paragraphs.

Introduction:
1- Try to make the introduction a bit longer. You can do that by giving some more background on the issue.

 

[dcintel]

Thanks for your suggestion, I have just rewritten, please help me correct for grammar and vocabulary

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Nowadays, there are many environmental problems that can be seen almost every day on TVs and their effects. Human beings, obviously, are the main reason for that. However, governments from all over the worlds and people are constantly working together to mitigate its effects to our lives.

People are damaging environment in different ways. Firstly, it can be easily seen on the news that tons of different types of toxic chemicals are being transported into rivers and oceans every day or the way that we are damaging the coastline, which cause massive fish death. Take Vietnam for example, there was strikes from environmental activists against a XXX company, which has been polluting rivers and oceans by exhaust fumes and chemicals they produce every day. Consequently, thousands of fish and other marine creatures could be found along the coastline in rotten state near the company. Moreover, humans are damaging their surroundings by destroying a vast area of land in search of fossil fuels or to increase agricultural production. Those actions are increasingly causing impacts on climate changes and global warming such as flash floods and heatwave on the yearly basis.

There are several solutions that governments and every people can take to minimize environmental impacts. The simplest solution for governments would be to raise awareness and responsibilities to every citizen. By raising awareness, people will become well-informed about its harmful impacts such as the global warming as well as climate change. Accountability helps against the consequences of climate change and preserve our environment for future generations. For example, many environmentally pressured groups are constantly raising the awareness for all people around the world about the effects of destroying the environments as well as their aims is to stop these disasters happening.

From an individual perspective, something that everyone could do. Firstly, every individual should strictly obey rules and laws. A recently program called "Clean the city" in my country, for example, forces people who live in the city center to keep the city clean by collecting all litters on the roads near their homes. Secondly, all family members, friends, colleagues and so on are encouraged to buy environmentally friendly products whenever possible to keep the country clean.

In conclusion, although there are many consequences when people damage the environment, various measures for both governments and individuals can take to tackle with this critical problem.

 

[teechar]

Thanks for your suggestion. I have just rewritten the essay. Please help me correct [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] the grammar and vocabulary.

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Nowadays, [STRIKE] there are [/STRIKE] the world is facing many environmental problems,[STRIKE] that can be seen [/STRIKE] and almost every day on TV, we see the devastating[STRIKE] and their [/STRIKE] effects of environmental degradation. Human beings, obviously, are the main culprits behind most of the environmental problems. [STRIKE] reason for that. [/STRIKE] However, individuals and governments [STRIKE] from [/STRIKE] all over the world[STRIKE] and people [/STRIKE] are constantly working together to mitigate [STRIKE] its [/STRIKE] the impacts of the various environmental challenges we face. [STRIKE] effects to our lives. [/STRIKE]

People are damaging environment in different ways. Firstly, it can be easily seen on the news that tons of different types of toxic chemicals are being [STRIKE] transported [/STRIKE] dumped into rivers and oceans every day [STRIKE] or the way that we are damaging the coastline, [/STRIKE] which causes massive fish kills. [STRIKE] death. [/STRIKE] Take Vietnam, for example. There [STRIKE] was [/STRIKE] were strikes [STRIKE] from [/STRIKE] organized by environmental activists against XXX, a company which has been polluting rivers and the ocean by [STRIKE] exhaust fumes [/STRIKE] the various emissions and chemicals [STRIKE] they [/STRIKE] it produces every day. [STRIKE] Consequently, [/STRIKE] Thousands of fish and other marine creatures [STRIKE] could be [/STRIKE] are regularly found washed up rotten along the coastline [STRIKE] in rotten state [/STRIKE] near where the company operates. Moreover, humans are [STRIKE] damaging their surroundings by [/STRIKE] destroying vast areas of land in search of fossil fuels or to increase agricultural production. Those actions are increasingly [STRIKE] causing impacts on [/STRIKE] contributing to climate change and global warming, and phenomena such as flash floods and heatwaves are now occurring on [STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] a yearly basis as a result.

Nevertheless, there are several solutions that governments and [STRIKE] every people [/STRIKE] ordinary individuals can [STRIKE] take [/STRIKE] implement to minimize [STRIKE] environmental [/STRIKE] the impacts of environmental problems. The simplest solution for governments would be to raise awareness and [STRIKE] responsibilities to [/STRIKE] encourage every citizen to be more environmentally responsible. By raising awareness, people will become well informed about [STRIKE] its [/STRIKE] the harmful impacts such as the global warming, deforestation and pollution. [STRIKE] as well as climate change. [/STRIKE] Accountability helps [STRIKE] against [/STRIKE] reduce the consequences of climate change and in preserving our environment for future generations. For example, many environmental[STRIKE] ly pressured [/STRIKE] pressure groups are[STRIKE] constantly raising [/STRIKE] working hard to raise the awareness [STRIKE] for all [/STRIKE] of people all around the world about the effects of [STRIKE] destroying the [/STRIKE] environmental degradation. [STRIKE] as well as their aims is to stop these disasters happening. [/STRIKE]

From an individual perspective, there is something that everyone [STRIKE] could [/STRIKE] can do to reduce the pressure on the environment. Firstly, every individual should strictly obey the rules and laws which protect the environment. A recent [STRIKE]ly[/STRIKE] program called "Clean the City" in my country, for example, [STRIKE] forces [/STRIKE] encourages people who live in the city center to keep their area city clean by collecting [STRIKE] all litters on [/STRIKE] litter from the roads near their homes. Secondly, we should encourage all family members, friends, colleagues and others[STRIKE] so on are encouraged [/STRIKE] to buy environmentally friendly products whenever possible and to keep the country clean.

In conclusion, although there are many consequences when people damage the environment, various measures [STRIKE] for both governments and individuals [/STRIKE] can be taken by both governments and individuals to tackle [STRIKE] with [/STRIKE] this critical problem.

.

 

[Glizdka]

I apologize if my post is irrelevant to the topic. I just wanted to say that Teechar deserves a medal for this.

 

[alexpen]

Yes, a teechar like this is a blessing

 

[Tarheel]

For future reference you might want to note that some of us are irritated when somebody says something and at the same time says it is obvious.
:shock:

 

[WrightNicole]

Try not to use "nowadays" in your topics - that's typical. There are many actual alternatives:"today", "actual problem is", "the main component of my topic is...". Good luck!

Not a teacher.

 

[Rover_KE]

WrightNicole, welcome to the forum.

Please state that you are not a teacher, in accordance with the forum rules.

 

[Tarheel]

Try not to use "nowadays" in your topics - that's typical. There are many [STRIKE]actual[/STRIKE] alternatives:"today", "actual problem is", "the main component of my topic is...". Good luck!

Not a teacher.

I don't see what's wrong with nowadays. However, the pointless use of the word actual is rather irritating. (I guess by topics you mean writing.)