[Vocabulary] What is an appropriate verb in English?

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sania-baharat

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I want to say that whenever I want to make a tough decision I consider my parents' point of views and discuss with them.
What is an appropriate verb in English when you need and value other people's opinions and involve them when it comes to making decisions ?
 

Tarheel

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You can say:

I talk to them.

I discuss things with them.

I talk to them about important things.

I discuss important matters with them.
 

Tarheel

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Also, say:

I consider my parents' points of view.
 

Phaedrus

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What is an appropriate verb in English when you need and value other people's opinions and involve them when it comes to making decisions ?
"Consult" conveys that nicely: I consult my parents about important life matters.
 

sania-baharat

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Are the following correct now?

In my opinion, when it comes to making big decisions, it is a good idea to discuss it with parents or other sensible people we know.

In my opinion, when it comes to making big decisions, it is a good idea to consult with parents or other sensible people we know (about them).
 

emsr2d2

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Are the following correct now?

In my opinion, when it comes to making big decisions, it is a good idea to discuss it with your/one's parents or other sensible people [STRIKE]we[/STRIKE] you know/one knows.

In my opinion, when it comes to making big decisions, it is a good idea to consult [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] your/one's parents or other sensible people [STRIKE]we[/STRIKE] you know/one knows. [STRIKE](about them)[/STRIKE].

See above.

The final phrase suggests that you believe that everyone's parents are sensible. I can assure you that's not true!
 

Matthew Wai

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My understanding is that 'consult' means 'ask for advice', while 'consult with' means 'discuss with'.
 

Tdol

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You could take their views into consideration, which doesn't mean you would accept them.
 

GeneD

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Thank you Emsr2d2.
May I ask why you crossed the word "with"? In the link below, definition #2, we can have the following collocations with the verb "consult":


  • consult somebody
  • consult somebody about/on something
  • consult with somebody (about/on something)

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/consult?q=consult
I got interested and looked this word up in a dictionary (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/consult). It does have the meaning "have discussions with (someone), typically before undertaking a course of action" and gives an example: "the government must consult with interested bodies". But the funny part is that after clicking the button "More example sentences" and looking through this huge list of examples, I couldn't find a single sentence following the rule (i.e. consult+with). It looks as if "consult someone" (without "with") is simply more common. As a learner, I would be grateful if the native speakers told me if I'm mistaken or not.

Just in case :) I'm not a teacher.
 
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GeneD

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I found this sentence: 'We are consulting closely with our partners and allies'.
Where did you find it, Matthew? I thought "What determination he has!" :) and tried to find your sentence... and failed. I was searching right below the following definition: "Have discussions with (someone), typically before undertaking a course of action".


  • ‘As in '99, opponents of a republic with an Australian Head of State will complain that consulting the people is a waste of time and money.’
  • ‘Councillors have arranged a meeting at the end of November to discuss consulting all residents on the festival's future.’
  • ‘They had been worried after one doctor altered Thomas's treatment without consulting a junior colleague responsible for his care.’
  • ‘No one of course consulted the Scottish people, and widespread popular opposition greeted the Union.’
  • ‘If you genuinely want new ideas, don't forget to consult people you respect who have never worked in your industry’
  • ‘She highlighted her concerns at how the Irish people were never consulted about signing up to an EU constitution.’
  • ‘We consulted people and began the process of tendering.’
  • ‘The council has already consulted the people on what they want.’
  • ‘I wonder if people were even consulted before drawing up this plan.’
  • ‘The people were consulted and have spoken; it is just unfortunate that many of Europe's politicians dislike their reply.’
  • ‘It shouldn't be left till the flames are coming out the top of the plant before people are consulted.’
  • ‘He said that at the centre of the present crisis was the fact that the federal council had taken a course of action without consulting the people.’
  • ‘Advances in our understanding of the human genome not only have a considerable impact on consulting individuals and their families but also on the population in general.’
  • ‘He said he would be consulting staff about the proposals before deciding what course of action the branch would take.’
  • ‘‘We will be consulting local people about going through the tunnel - an option is to provide two routes, one through and another over the top,’ Mr McQuillan said.’
  • ‘The Council consulted him and discussed legislative projects, while the Senate voted on those projects.’
  • ‘I am sure if the organizers of the Awards had consulted the right persons the results would have been different.’
  • ‘The report recommends seeking additional funds for the skate park, but also includes consulting young people about which facilities they see as most important for them.’
  • ‘Of course I am not consulted by State-owned enterprises before they put up prices.’
  • ‘Bexley Council is currently consulting people about its plans to spend £4m during the next five years on expanding and updating the library service.’

And I failed to find a single sentence with consult+with again.
 
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emsr2d2

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There are plenty of people who use "consult with" but I don't think I've ever seen an example where simply "consult" wouldn't have been perfectly acceptable. It's the same situation with "meet with" vs "meet". The only thing that "with" adds is a very slight sense of collaboration but even without "with", I don't think there's a suggestion of a one-sided conversation.
 

Matthew Wai

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GeneD

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Tdol

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I found this sentence: 'We are consulting closely with our partners and allies'.

I would use with in this sentence with this word order, but if you moved closely to the end, I would take it out.
 
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