when feelings come to surface

[alpacinou]

Hello.

I want to suggest a person had some bad feelings deep inside him and then after joining a gang those feelings were expressed. Can I use words "lurk", "harbor", "channel" and "come to surface"?

Is this okay? How can I make it better? What other options do I have?

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring came up to the surface after he joined the gang. He reveled in hurting other people. There was now a way he could channel his sadistic tendencies.

 

[tedmc]

How about "unleashed/vented"?

 

[Tarheel]

My only comment is you don't need up in this phrase:

came to the surface

 

[emsr2d2]

How about "unleashed/vented"?

Where are you suggesting that the OP uses those words?

 

[tedmc]

Where are you suggesting that the OP uses those words?

To replace "came up to the surface".

 

[emsr2d2]

How about "unleashed/vented"?

To replace "came up to the surface".

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring unleashed after he joined the gang.
All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring vented after he joined the gang.

Now that they're written out in full, do you still think they work, tedmc?

 

[alpacinou]

My only comment is you don't need up in this phrase:

came to the surface

Are you saying this is a good sentence?

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring came to the surface after he joined the gang. He reveled in hurting other people. There was now a way he could channel his sadistic tendencies.


What other options do I have instead of "came to the surface"?

 

[emsr2d2]

bubbled up
materialised
came to the fore
appeared
emerged

 

[alpacinou]

bubbled up
materialised
came to the fore
appeared
emerged

Thanks. Is my sentence okay? I mean the rest of it.

 

[tedmc]

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring unleashed after he joined the gang.
All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring vented after he joined the gang.

Now that they're written out in full, do you still think they work, tedmc?

There should have been a "were" in front.

 

[emsr2d2]

There should have been a "were" in front.

Then you should have made that clear. You simply said that you were suggesting "unleashed/vented" to replace "came up to the surface".

 

[emsr2d2]

Thanks. Is my sentence okay? I mean the rest of it.

You need to add a comma after "harboring".

 

[alpacinou]

You need to add a comma after "harboring".

Is this good? How can I make it better?

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring, came to the surface after he joined the gang. He reveled in hurting other people. There was now a way he could channel his sadistic tendencies.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's fine. You're there.

 

[tedmc]

"Comes to the surface" (or surfaced) does not give the impression that the feelings have been suppressed/bottled up for some time and was let loose/released/unleashed/vented.

 

[Tarheel]

Are you saying this is a good sentence?

All those dark feelings lurking inside him, all the hatred and resentment he had been harboring came to the surface after he joined the gang. He reveled in hurting other people. There was now a way he could channel his sadistic tendencies.

I'm pretty sure you don't need to say he enjoyed hurting other people. The sentence is probably just as good or better without it. (For example, we might say somebody likes helping people.)

My two cents.

 

[alpacinou]

"Comes to the surface" (or surfaced) does not give the impression that the feelings have been suppressed/bottled up for some time and was let loose/released/unleashed/vented.

What impression does it give?

 

[emsr2d2]

"Comes to the surface" (or surfaced) does not give the impression that the feelings have been suppressed/bottled up for some time and was let loose/released/unleashed/vented.

It gives me that impression perfectly. It doesn't need to suggest that the feelings exploded out of the person, but saying they came to the surface makes it clear that, at least for period of time, they had been suppressed, whether consciously or unconsciously.