[General] Would you mind ...? vs. ...if you don't mind?

[Darijus]

Hi Everyone,

The longer I think about this the more confused I become in deciding how to approach a person to do me a favour.

1. "Would you mind me asking if you could give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs....?"
2. "Could you please give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs..., if you don't mind?"

I would like it to sound informal, however in the 2nd sentence it bears a negative meaning, in my opinion, and this one confuses me a lot.

There is another option in my head:
3. "If you don't mind me asking, could you please give a recommendation to...."

Could you fellows please help me with this, if you don't mind (or you mind???) as I am feeling completely lost here.

Many thanks

Darijus

 

[bhaisahab]

Hi Everyone,

The longer I think about this the more confused I become in deciding how to approach a person to do me a favour.

1. "Would you mind me asking if you could give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs....?"
2. "Could you please give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs..., if you don't mind?"

I would like it to sound informal, however in the 2nd sentence it bears a negative meaning, in my opinion, and this one confuses me a lot.

There is another option in my head:
3. "If you don't mind me asking, could you please give a recommendation to...."

Could you fellows please help me with this, if you don't mind (or you mind???) as I am feeling completely lost here.

Many thanks

Darijus

Neither is very natural. How to phrase it depends very much on your relationship with the person.

 

[JMurray]

The longer I think about this the more confused I become in deciding how to approach a person to do me a favour.
1. "Would you mind me asking if you could give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs....?"
2. "Could you please give a recommendation to Mr/Mrs..., if you don't mind?"
I would like it to sound informal, however in the 2nd sentence it bears a negative meaning, in my opinion, and this one confuses me a lot.
There is another option in my head:
3. "If you don't mind me asking, could you please give a recommendation to...."

As bhaisahab says, this depends very much on your relationship with the person.
However, the opening phrase "I was wondering if.." has an informal tone and often serves to soften the directness of requesting a favour. Something like this might work.
"I was wondering if you would mind giving a recommendation to Mr/Mrs…"


not a teacher