Youth travelling, people going abroad, the left country, crucial for the country

[Anna232]

Do the parts in bold sound natural? I am talking about the results of many people leaving this country to find better jobs abroad and the negative impact it has already had on the economy.

I think youth travelling brings negative aspects to the country they leave. To me, this sounds very sad because it leads to brain-drain. Of course young people going abroad to find a job can have advantages too. However, most of the time the left country has a lack of employees. So this process is crucial for the countries. (I mean the countries that people have been leaving.)

 

[emsr2d2]

"Youth travelling" doesn't mean young people leaving their home country to work abroad. In fact, it doesn't really mean anything. If I hadn't known what your piece was about, I'd have guessed that you were talking about young people going off on holiday, maybe travelling for a gap year before starting university. Before I look at the rest, try to come up with a better phrase.

 

[Anna232]

"Youth travelling" doesn't mean young people leaving their home country to work abroad. In fact, it doesn't really mean anything. If I hadn't known what your piece was about, I'd have guessed that you were talking about young people going off on holiday, maybe travelling for a gap year before starting university.

Before I look at the rest, try to come up with a better phrase.

I would rephrase it in the following way: "I think, youth leaving/going away brings negative aspects to their homecountry." I wonder if this pattern "youth leaving/going away" is grammatical.

 

[emsr2d2]

I would rephrase it in the following way: "I think no comma here youth leaving/going away brings negative aspects to their home country." I wonder if this pattern "youth leaving/going away" is grammatical.

That still doesn't encompass the whole idea of them actually moving abroad. Be clearer. Say that they're moving abroad for work or emigrating for work.

I have no idea what "brings negative aspects to their home country" means. Do you mean that it reflects negatively (ie people think badly towards their home country because people are leaving) or that their home country is in some way disadvantaged by them moving abroad?

 

[Anna232]

That still doesn't encompass the whole idea of them actually moving abroad. Be clearer. Say that they're moving abroad for work or emigrating for work.

I have tried to rephrase it:
"I think youth moving abroad for work has a negative impact on their home country."

I have no idea what "brings negative aspects to their home country" means.
Do you mean that it reflects negatively (ie people think badly towards their home country because people are leaving) or that their home country is in some way disadvantaged by them moving abroad?

I mean both of these. Is it still unnatural?

 

[Tarheel]

I have tried to rephrase it:
"I think youth moving abroad for work has a negative impact on their home country."

That's not bad. However, you didn't try. You did, in fact, rephrase it, and that one's an improvement over your previous efforts.

 

[Anna232]

That's not bad. However, you didn't try. You did, in fact, rephrase it, and that one's an improvement over your previous efforts.

I tried to correct it

 

[teechar]

I think youth travelling emigration brings has negative consequences/impacts aspects to the country they leave. To me, this sounds very sad because it leads to a brain drain. Of course, young people going abroad to find a job can have advantages for young people. too. However, most of the time, the country they leave will (likely) suffer from a shortage of (skilled) workers. the left country has a lack of employees. So Thus, this process phenomenon is crucial critical for the many countries.

See above.

 

[Anna232]

See above.

I don't know the exact name of this construction: I insist on you/your going abroad. I tried to use it in these examples: "I think youth travelling brings negative aspects to the country they leave" and in "Of course young people going abroad to find a job can have advantages too." My sentences are wrong and unnatural but is it possible to use this pattern or construction the way I tried?

 

[teechar]

My sentences are wrong and unnatural but is it possible to use this pattern or construction the way I tried?

I think you've answered your own question. Those sentences are no good. Instead of trying to formulate your phrasing around a structure that you may fancy, you should focus on expressing your ideas in clear and concise sentences. Complexity in writing should not be something contrived. It has to serve a purpose. Otherwise, it'll come across as unnatural, and believe me, examiners can see right through that.

 

[Tarheel]

I tried to correct it

Did you not succeed?

If somebody said he tried to make a pizza he would mean he attempted to make a pizza but failed. If he said he tried to solve a problem it would mean he made the effort to solve that problem but failed. If somebody said he tried to win a game of chess he would mean he made the effort to win, but the best he could do was a loss or a draw.