Hi?
Barney persuades Ted to do what Barney wants.
Barney : Here's the plan, and I crap you not.
I think it's like I won't screw you.
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Hi?
Barney persuades Ted to do what Barney wants.
Barney : Here's the plan, and I crap you not.
I think it's like I won't screw you.
It means "I'm not lying to you". If you lie to someone you can be said to be telling them "cr*p" which also means "rubbish". I've also heard "to feed someone cr*p" meaning "to lie".
In the context above, it sounds as if the plan is going to be something unusual and hard to believe so before he even starts speaking, Barney tells Ted that what he's about to tell him about the plan isn't a lie.
It probably is a euphemism of " I'm not bullshitting you ."
(Not a Teacher)
"I shit you not" is the way I've always heard it. I've also heard "I kid you not" as well.