[General] Even though we've only met once...(40 words)

[Silverobama]

Hi.

I am trying to improve my writing skills by using different words and the following is a new attempt. The context is that I met a very nice middle-aged woman once and we had dinner together. I was seeing the photos and reading the things she posted in one of the apps we both use. After seeing those photos and reading those articles, I wrote to her:

Even though we've only met once, I am just wondering why such an elegant woman like you could possess so many best qualities. You're talented and intelligent. I'm also impressed by your versatility. * Don't stay up too late. Good night. **

*: I said she's versatile because she can do yoga. She's a host. She's a teacher of a local kindergarten and can dance and sing. Also, she's a wonderful housewife.
**: I don't think the last two sentences are coherent with the former sentences, but she likes staying up too late. So I add it to be a gentle reminder.

Please help me with my short paragraph in italics.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hi.

I am trying to improve my writing skills by using different words, and the following is a new attempt. The context is that I met a very nice middle-aged woman once, and we had dinner together. And I was seeing the photos and reading the things she posted in one of the Apps we both use. After seeing those photos and reading those articles, I wrote to her:

Even though we've only met once, I am just wondering how such an elegant woman as you could possess so many good/great/fine qualities. You're talented and intelligent. I'm also impressed by your versatility. * Don't stay up too late. Good night. **

*: I said she's versatile because she can do yoga, she's a hostess, she's a teacher at a local kindergarten, and she can dance and sing. Also, she's a wonderful housewife.
**: I don't think the last two sentences are congruent with the former sentences, but she likes staying up too late, so I added it as a gentle reminder.

Please help me with my short paragraph in italics.

Choosing between why and how can be tricky. You might spend some time reviewing the uses of each.

 

[emsr2d2]

I assumed from the tone and wording of your message that you were flirting slightly with this woman, perhaps hoping for a romantic relationship with her. I didn't spot the fact that you said she's a housewife. I hope you're aware that her husband might be rather taken aback by the contents of the message.

 

[Silverobama]

I assumed from the tone and wording of your message that you were flirting slightly with this woman, perhaps hoping for a romantic relationship with her. I didn't spot the fact that you said she's a housewife. I hope you're aware that her husband might be rather taken aback by the contents of the message.

Thanks a lot for your reminder, emsr2d2. Actually there isn't such a woman in my life and I won't be the third person of any woman. I once met a woman who asked me out for dinner and I knew she was romantically interested in me but I refused her.

I wonder if you can comment my italic sentences from the British English perspective so that I can improve my skills of writing and using different words and sentence structures. I think CB's AE version is good enough.

 

[tedmc]

How about these:

I wonder if you can comment on my italic sentences from the British English perspective so that I can improve my skills [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in writing and using different words and sentence structures. I think CB's AE version is good enough.

... the last two sentence are [STRIKE]coherent[/STRIKE] related to the [STRIKE]former[/STRIKE] earlier sentences.

 

[teechar]

Silverobama: you're still making comma splice errors.

 

[Silverobama]

Silverobama: you're still making comma splice errors.

I fixed the possible comma splice errors in my posts. Would you please help me with my paragraph?

 

[teechar]

In future, please don't do that. It makes a mess of the thread, especially when people have already replied to it. Instead, write the revised version in a new post.
A more natural way of putting it would be:
"I said she's versatile because she can do yoga, is a hostess and a local local kindergarten teacher, and she can dance and sing as well as being a wonderful housewife".

 

[Silverobama]

In future, please don't do that. It makes a mess of the thread, especially when people have already replied to it. Instead, write the revised version in a new post.

Got it!

A more natural way of putting it would be:
"I said she's versatile because she can do yoga, is a hostess and a local [STRIKE]local[/STRIKE] kindergarten teacher, and she can dance and sing as well as being a wonderful housewife".

I appreciate your help, teechar. I'll pay attention to it or correct my mistakes in a new post.

Would you please take a look at the italic sentences (short paragraph) in the OP to see if it's natural in BE?

 

[teechar]

Even though we've only met once, I am [STRIKE]just wondering why[/STRIKE] amazed how such an elegant woman like you [STRIKE]could possess[/STRIKE] can have so many [STRIKE]best[/STRIKE] great/wonderful qualities. You're multi-talented and so intelligent. [STRIKE]I'm also impressed by your versatility.[/STRIKE] Anyway, don't stay up too late. Good night.

Try that.