[Grammar] Elliptical sentence?

[Isobela]

Hello,

can someone please tell me if the following sentece can be put like this?


It remains an important indicator of health, especially in children, whose immunity system is vulnerable and feverishness (is) more often.

Is "feverishness (is) more often" a kind of elliptical sentence?


Thank you very much!

 

[Rover_KE]

It should be 'immune system', and the sentence is incomplete: '...and feverishness (is) more often...' what?

 

[Isobela]

Thank you for your reply. I am aware it sounds unnatural. It should express that children suffer from feverishness more often (than adults).How could I rewrite it?
Would this be correct? "...whose immune system is vulnerable, and who suffer from feverishness more often."? Is it still incomplete?

Or like this: "...whose immune system is vulnerable, and feverishness is more often than in adults."? Can the pronoun "whose" be left out in the second sentence as it is already in the first one?

Thanks a lot!!

 

[Rover_KE]

Add 'than adults' and your first corrected attempted is fine.

Your second try is wrong.

 

[Barb_D]

I agree with Rover that "who suffer from feverishness more often than adults" is correct, but it's wordy.
"... have fevers more often than adults" would get the point across more quickly, I think.

I don't find "suffer from feverishness" particuarly natural.

 

[MikeNewYork]

I think the word "feverishness" should just be dropped. It started with a noun "fever" and then became an adjective "feverish", then became a noun again "feverishness".

 

[Matthew Wai]

"...whose immune system is vulnerable, and feverishness is more often than in adults."

'... whose immune system is vulnerable and whose feverishness, more frequent than adults'.'
It it correct?

 

[Raymott]

'... whose immune system is vulnerable and whose feverishness, more frequent than adults'.'
It it correct?

No, it's not. Did you read Mike's post? "Feverishness" is wrong. (You may have crossed in posting).

It remains an important indicator of health, especially in children, whose immune system is vulnerable and in whom fever is more common than in adults.
I'd be interested in knowing what this indicator was.