[Vocabulary] What does patronize mean?

[EnglishLearner007]

Hi Guys

Yesterday, I heard an actor saying, "Don't you patronize me." Out of context, I thought it meant, "Don't feel sorry for me" (in a condescending way). Even after looking at the dictionary definition, I still don't get it.

Can you please explain the word in plain English (may be with a scenario)?

Thanks.

 

[Barb_D]

[FONT=&quot] to talk to (someone) in a way that shows that you believe you are more intelligent or better than other people

[/FONT]http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/patronize

You say something that sounds kind but really means "I'm better than you."

 

[EnglishLearner007]

Thanks @Barb_D. Got it now. In that scene, person said something sympathetically, but essentially was showing superiority.

@Piscean: Reading your (sarcastic) comment above, would it be fine to say, "Don't patronize her" (i.e. if you were showing superiority).

 

[Barb_D]

Yes, if he were being serious, you could scold him about being patronizing, but fortunately, you understood he was being sarcastic.

 

[EnglishLearner007]

@Barb_D: With limited English knowledge that I posses, I was wondering why didn't you write "Had he been serious, you could have scold him" (past unreal conditional). Is were-type conditionals more commonly spoken by native English speakers?

PS: I have read your signature loud and clear. Just asking.

 

[Barb_D]

Had he been serious // If he had been serious -- you could have scolded him for it.

I used "being" to show the temporary aspect of his comments. He would not usually be patronizing, but maybe he was being patronizing just then.
Americans are more likely to use the subjunctive "If I were" "If he were" than BrE users, I'm told.

He was being serious -- True statement about his temporary actions.
If he were being serious -- He was not being serious.

 

[EnglishLearner007]

I see the subtle difference. Thanks for pointing out. These are the things that make it so difficult for ESL learners to become fluent.

 

[GoesStation]

@Barb_D: With limited English knowledge that I posses, I was wondering why didn't you write "Had he been serious, you could have scold him" (past unreal conditional). Is were-type conditionals more commonly spoken by native English speakers?

We Americans don't use the had he been serious form very often. It definitely exists, and people from some regions and backgrounds use it more than others, but in general it's not common.