a very short paragraph wants to check :)

[lo3ti]

hey,

can any teacher correct my mistakes in this paragraph :

On day, while I was cutting onions to put it into my sausage sandwich, suddenly I cut my finger by a sharp knife. My finger started bleeding a lot of blood, quickly I wear my clothes and went to the nearest hospital from my house, I arrived to the hospital at 8:10 pm it was crowded and there were a lot of people which have a dangerous injuries, so I had to wait and tie my wound to stopped the bleed. After half an hour exactly at 8:40 pm I met the doctor, he asked me about if I want to stitch my finger or not, so I told him that my wound doesn’t require stitches so I don’t want stitch after that he put over my finger a paste its very useful couse after 2 weeks my wound got well ..




thnx to anybody wants help me

 

[birdeen's call]

What do you mean by "on day"?

 

[allenman]

hey,

can any teacher correct my mistakes in this paragraph :

On day, while I was cutting onions to put it into my sausage sandwich, I suddenly cut my finger with a sharp knife. My finger started bleeding a lot. I put on my clothes quickly and went to the nearest hospital to my house, I arrived at the hospital at 8:10 pm -- it was crowded and there were a lot of people who had dangerous injuries so I had to wait and tie off my wound to stop the bleeding. After half an hour at exactly 8:40 pm I met the doctor. He asked me if I wanted to stitch up my finger or not, so I told him that my wound would not require stitches so I didn't want stitches. After that he put a Band-Aid on my finger and after 2 weeks my wound healed ..




thnx to anybody wants help me

Ok, lots of little things... Some corrections are subjective. I am native and would say it slightly differently. Also, I speak US English so it might sound different in Canada or England.
Oh, and I am not a teacher but a native speaker

 

[lo3ti]

What do you mean by "on day"?

i made a mistake i mean one day

 

[lo3ti]

Ok, lots of little things... Some corrections are subjective. I am native and would say it slightly differently. Also, I speak US English so it might sound different in Canada or England.
Oh, and I am not a teacher but a native speaker

thanx alot native speaker

i appreciate that bro ..

 

[birdeen's call]

lo3ti, you are apparently capable of using correct capitalization and punctuation. Why don't you use them when you're typing your posts? It looks a little disrespectful, as if the readers of your posts weren't as important as the destined readers of your paragraph.

 

[Rover_KE]

One day, while I was cutting onions to put [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] into my sausage sandwich, I suddenly cut my finger with a sharp knife. It started bleeding a lot[STRIKE] of blood[/STRIKE], so I quickly got dressed (had you been naked before?) and went to the nearest hospital to my house. I arrived at the hospital at 8:10 pm. It was crowded and there were a lot of people with serious injuries, so I had to wait and put pressure on my wound to stop[STRIKE]ped[/STRIKE] the bleed. After half an hour exactly at 8:40 pm I met the doctor, who asked me [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] if I wanted to have my finger stitched or not, so I told him that my wound didn't require stitches so [STRIKE]I don’t want stitch after that[/STRIKE] he put a bandage on it. It was very effective, because after two weeks my wound healed up.

Rover

 

[SoothingDave]

Does the doctor really ask your advise about whether you need stitches or not? I thought he was the professional.