[Essay] don't call me

[Ashiuhto]

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

At the beginning, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Patricia, but don’t call me “Patrick”. I am much smarter and cuter than Patrick. Although my family will move to Hsinchu after I graduate from junior high school, I hope we can still keep in touch in the future.

 

[billmcd]

Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

[STRIKE] At the beginning [/STRIKE] First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Patricia, but don’t call me “Patrick”. I am much smarter and cuter than Patrick. Although my family will move to Hsinchu after I graduate from junior high school, I hope we can still keep in touch in the future.

One minor suggestion.

 

[shur2gal]

Allow me to introduce myself. The transition "First" is overused in English and should be avoided whenever possible.

 

[5jj]

The transition "First" is overused in English and should be avoided whenever possible.

As I have said elsewhere, many learners are taught to use these words as one way of structuring an essay. They are commonly used by native speakers.

 

[emsr2d2]

Unless I am missing an intended witticism, I'd like to point out that no-one calls people called Patricia by the name Patrick. Patricia is a girl's name. Patrick is a boy's name. They can both be shortened to Pat, but they are definitely not interchangeable.