[Grammar] editing of a letter

[khansir]

Dear Sir
Please edit the following letter

JAYPEE VIDYA MANDIR, TOMRI has been serving the society for last 5 years. Inspite of locating in such a remote area, the school is has been offering a lot of modern facilities which are demanded in the modern world. The students are focussed to develop the life skills to become a responsible citizen for tomorrow as today's education is based on all-round development of a child.

 

[emsr2d2]

[STRIKE]Dear Sir[/STRIKE] Hello.
Please edit the following letter.

JAYPEE VIDYA MANDIR, TOMRI has been serving the society for the last 5 years. [STRIKE]Inspite[/STRIKE] Despite [STRIKE]of locating[/STRIKE]being located in [STRIKE]such[/STRIKE] a remote area, the school [STRIKE]is has been offering[/STRIKE] offers a lot of modern facilities which are demanded in the modern world. The students are [STRIKE]focussed[/STRIKE] focused [STRIKE]to develop[/STRIKE]on developing the life skills necessary to become a responsible citizen for tomorrow, as today's education is based on the all-round development of a child.

Note my corrections above. I don't know if the first four words are someone's name or the name of a school. Is it the "Jaypee Vidya Mandir" school in "Tomri"?

 

[Tarheel]

I would delete "the" from "the society".

 

[Rover_KE]

Welcome to the forum, Joe.

Please note my comment above. ESL students always presume that native speakers use correct grammar at all times.

Please read the following extract from the Forum Guidelines:

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