long-term employment

[ambitious-girl]

Could anyone please check this paragraph for any mistakes?

Another potential benefit of long-term employment is that employees will be gradually learning to persevere in tough and hard times in their jobs. Then they can try to take an active role in dealing with them and then turning them around instead of running away from those difficulties. As a result, they will be able to overcome challenges and failures whenever they are faced with them. This will make a much stronger character as well as will demonstrate perseverance during their wok experiences.

 

[tedmc]

Could anyone please check this paragraph for any mistakes?

Another potential benefit of being in a long-term employment is that employees [STRIKE]will be [/STRIKE]gradually learn[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] (I would use the present tense for general statements, which you have done in the sentence that follows) to persevere in tough [STRIKE]and hard[/STRIKE] (the two words mean the same thing) times in their jobs.

Then they [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] would have to try to take an active role(strive to tackle the problem head-on/take the bull by the horns) in dealing with them and then turning them around instead of running away from [STRIKE]those[/STRIKE] the difficulties.

As a result, they will be [STRIKE] able[/STRIKE] (in a better position/better prepared) to overcome challenges and failures whenever they are faced with them. This [STRIKE]will [/STRIKE] would [STRIKE]make a much stronger character [/STRIKE] mould them into better characters [STRIKE]as well as will demonstrate perseverance during their wok experiences[/STRIKE] with perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks.

.

 

[ambitious-girl]

"Another potential benefit of being in a long-term employment is that employees gradually learn to persevere in tough times in their jobs. Then they would have to try to take an active role in dealing with them and then turning them around instead of running away from the difficulties. As a result, they will be in a better position to overcome challenges and failures whenever they are faced with them. This would mould them into better characters with perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks."


Thanks Tedmc for correcting my mistakes.
I have two questions regarding corrections you have made:

1) Why did you use "would" in the paragraph above? I would also like to be able to use "would" in my writing. However, I can only use it in a second and third condition. Now, it is confusing why you used there. If I were you, I would use "will". Now, I want to know more about the use of this modal verb.

2)Do the following suggestions use instead of "take an active role" or "dealing with"?
strive to tackle the problem head-on
take the bull by the horns

 

[Lynxear]

Could anyone please check this paragraph for any mistakes?

Another potential benefit of long-term employment is that employees will be gradually learning to persevere in tough and hard times in their jobs. Then they can try to take an active role in dealing with them and then turning them around instead of running away from those difficulties. As a result, they will be able to overcome challenges and failures whenever they are faced with them. This will make a much stronger character as well as will demonstrate perseverance during their wok experiences.

I think this can be written in a single paragraph. The first sentence is the "main idea" of the paragraph and the rest of the sentences are supportive of that idea.

I am not sure if "benefit" is the right word. Perhaps "result" would be better here. "In their jobs" is redundant as is "hard".

Another potential result of long-term employment is that employees will gradually learn to persevere in tough times.

This second sentence needs a complete rewrite. "Head on" means to not avoid something.

They can take an active role in dealing with difficulties by attacking them head on instead of running away.

In the next sentence you don't "overcome" challenges. You "rise" to challenges which means that you accept them. Actually it is "potential" failure that you overcome, meaning you attack the potential failure and defeat it before they become real.

They will be able to rise to challenges and overcome potential failures whenever they are faced with them.

I like the use of "mould" that Tedmc used in his last sentence.

This would mould their character adding perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks.

Here is the final result.

Another potential result of long-term employment is that employees will gradually learn to persevere in tough times. They can take an active role in dealing with difficulties by attacking them head on instead of running away. They will be able to rise to challenges and overcome potential failures whenever they are faced with them. This would mould their character adding perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks.

 

[ambitious-girl]

Thanks Lynxear for correcting me. It was really kind of you.

I have a question about "would". In Micheal Swan book, page 632, "would" is defined as :
"Would is often used in similar ways to will; it can act as a past of will in indirect speech, for example, and as a softer, less definite form of will in other cases."


Now the underlined part means we can use "would" instead of "will", when we are not that sure. For example, in the sentence below, we can use "will" or even "may" or "might". However, "would" implies less definite possibility, and "would" here has nothing to do with "second conditional" in the below sentence. Am I right?

They will be able to rise to challenges and overcome potential failures whenever they are faced with them. This would mould their character adding perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks.

 

[tedmc]

hey will be able to rise to challenges and overcome potential failures whenever they are faced with them. This would mould their character adding perseverance and resilience to take on difficult tasks.

"Would" in the sentence is not the past tense of "will". It means something "is likely to". It is preferred to "will" which means something is definite.