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  1. #1
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
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    Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    I would appreciate it if someone could check the following for mistakes.


    I would love to talk about a violent US movie which is/which is named The Godfather based on the book by Mario Puzo, who was a well-know American author and screenwriter. The movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, starts Marlon Brando as Don Vito and Al Pacino as his son, whose name is Michael. It won three Oscars in 1973 for Best Actor, who was Marlon Brando, Best Movie, and Best Screenplay. It is set in New York in the 1940s and 50s, and was filmed on location in New York in Sicily. The movie is about a family whose head, who is Don Vito and is known as Godfather, is the leader of one of the most powerful criminal mafia families in the US. Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. This family get involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. As a result, Vito is shot and is seriously injured. While he is in the hospital, it is to his eldest son, whose name is/ who is Sonny, control of the family passes. He is hothead and with him who is in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent. Don Vito’s youngest son, who is Michael, has always stayed outside the family business, but when his father is shot, he returns home to do what he can do to help the family. My favourite scenes are when he takes his revenge against people who was going to kill his father, and when Brando’s character is saying "I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse". In the end, Sonny is shot and Michael becomes the new Godfather.
    I strongly recommend The Godfather. It has action, drama and unforgettable soundtrack, and an important message that violence never really solves anything. The two sequels, which are The Godfather 2 and Godfather 3, are also good, but the first movie is definitely my most favourite one.


    I used "was going to do" because they were not succeed is killing Vito. I am not sure if it is a correct verb form or not.

    Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by ambitious-girl; 17-Sep-2017 at 16:18. Reason: Fix typos, organized some sentences.
    English is my great passion.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    Quote Originally Posted by ambitious-girl View Post
    I would appreciate it if someone could check the following for mistakes.

    I would love to talk about a the violent US movie which is/which is named The Godfather, based on the book by Mario Puzo, who was a well-know American author and screenwriter.

    The movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, starts Marlon Brando as Don Vito and Al Pacino as his son, whose name is Michael.

    It won three Oscars in 1973 for Best Actor, who was (Marlon Brando), Best Movie, and Best Screenplay.

    It is set in New York in the 1940s and 1950s, and was filmed on location in New York in Sicily.

    The movie is about a family whose head, who is Don Vito, and is known as Godfather, is the leader of one of the most powerful criminal mafia families in the US.

    Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. (I don't understand the underlined part.)

    This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. It's not clear whether "they" refers to the Vito family or to the "other criminal families.)

    As a result, Vito is shot and is seriously injured.

    While he is in the hospital, it is to his eldest son, whose name is/ who is Sonny, to whom control of the family passes.

    He is a hothead and with him who is in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent.

    Don Vito’s youngest son, who is Michael, has always stayed outside the family business, but when his father is shot, he returns home to do what he can do to help. the family.

    My favourite scenes are when he takes his revenge against the people who was were going to kill his father, and when Brando’s character is saying says "I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse".

    In the end, Sonny is shot and Michael becomes the new Godfather.

    I strongly recommend The Godfather.

    It has action, drama, and an unforgettable soundtrack, and an important message that violence never really solves anything.

    The two sequels, which are The Godfather: Part II and The Godfather: Part III, are also good, but the first movie is definitely my most favourite. one.


    I used "was going to do" because they were did not succeed is in killing Vito. I am not sure if it is a the correct verb form or not.

    Thanks in advance.
    See above. As you can see, you have needlessly used "who is/who are/which is" multiple times. Film titles should be made to stand out from the rest of the text in some way - I have italicised them. If you are going to quote a film title, make sure you get it right.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
    ambitious-girl is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    Thanks so much Emsr2d2 for proofreading my paragraph.

    Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. (I don't understand the underlined part.)
    I think it will be better by making following changes:

    Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family and friends.

    This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. It's not clear whether "they" refers to the Vito family or to the "other criminal families.)
    Yes. This part makes me confused too.
    How about?
    "They" referred to "Don's family". How it can be distinguished in the way that we can avoid repeating the word "family" ?
    How about?

    This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because Don and his family won’t sell drugs.
    English is my great passion.

  4. #4
    ambitious-girl's Avatar
    ambitious-girl is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    As you can see, you have needlessly used "who is/who are/which is" multiple times.
    Sure. Thanks for your suggestion. I think I should have used in some sentences not all of them. All that you crossed were wrong or were just redundant?
    English is my great passion.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    The Vito family refuses to sell drugs, leading to a war with other criminal families.

    All the "who is/who are/which is" examples were redundant.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #6
    sania-baharat is offline Member
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    What does this bold part mean? The sentence is so difficult to understand.
    Is it possible to replace 'with' with 'because of' or 'as a result'? Definition #6 in the link below.

    http://learnersdictionary.com/definition/with

    He is a hothead and with him in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent.
    Last edited by sania-baharat; 18-Sep-2017 at 12:55.

  7. #7
    SoothingDave is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    The movie was filmed in New York and in Sicily.

  8. #8
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    No one admits to liking Part III.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  9. #9
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    I've never even seen the original, let alone the two sequels.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  10. #10
    Barb_D's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

    There's a general sense that it's a "guys' movie" and I'm not a fan, but I don't know a single man who hasn't seen Part I and Part II many times. Mostly they pretend III doesn't exist.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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