Talk about your favourite movie (The Godfather)

ambitious-girl

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I would appreciate it if someone could check the following for mistakes.


I would love to talk about a violent US movie which is/which is named The Godfather based on the book by Mario Puzo, who was a well-know American author and screenwriter. The movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, starts Marlon Brando as Don Vito and Al Pacino as his son, whose name is Michael. It won three Oscars in 1973 for Best Actor, who was Marlon Brando, Best Movie, and Best Screenplay. It is set in New York in the 1940s and 50s, and was filmed on location in New York in Sicily. The movie is about a family whose head, who is Don Vito and is known as Godfather, is the leader of one of the most powerful criminal mafia families in the US. Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. This family get involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. As a result, Vito is shot and is seriously injured. While he is in the hospital, it is to his eldest son, whose name is/ who is Sonny, control of the family passes. He is hothead and with him who is in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent. Don Vito’s youngest son, who is Michael, has always stayed outside the family business, but when his father is shot, he returns home to do what he can do to help the family. My favourite scenes are when he takes his revenge against people who was going to kill his father, and when Brando’s character is saying "I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse". In the end, Sonny is shot and Michael becomes the new Godfather.
I strongly recommend The Godfather. It has action, drama and unforgettable soundtrack, and an important message that violence never really solves anything. The two sequels, which are The Godfather 2 and Godfather 3, are also good, but the first movie is definitely my most favourite one.


I used "was going to do" because they were not succeed is killing Vito. I am not sure if it is a correct verb form or not.

Thanks in advance.
 
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emsr2d2

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I would appreciate it if someone could check the following for mistakes.

I would love to talk about [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the violent [STRIKE]US[/STRIKE] movie [STRIKE]which is/which is named[/STRIKE] The Godfather, based on the book by Mario Puzo, [STRIKE]who was[/STRIKE] a well-know American author and screenwriter.

The movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, starts Marlon Brando as Don Vito and Al Pacino as his son, [STRIKE]whose name is[/STRIKE] Michael.

It won three Oscars in 1973 for Best Actor, [STRIKE]who was[/STRIKE] (Marlon Brando), Best Movie, and Best Screenplay.

It is set in New York in the 1940s and 1950s, and was filmed on location in New York in Sicily.

The movie is about a family whose head, [STRIKE]who is[/STRIKE] Don Vito, [STRIKE]and is[/STRIKE] known as Godfather, is the leader of one of the most powerful criminal mafia families in the US.

Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. (I don't understand the underlined part.)

This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. It's not clear whether "they" refers to the Vito family or to the "other criminal families.)

As a result, Vito is shot and [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] seriously injured.

While he is in the hospital, it is [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] his eldest son, [STRIKE]whose name is/ who is[/STRIKE] Sonny, to whom control of the family passes.

He is a hothead and with him [STRIKE]who is[/STRIKE] in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent.

Don Vito’s youngest son, [STRIKE]who is[/STRIKE] Michael, has always stayed outside the family business, but when his father is shot, he returns home to do what he can [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] to help. [STRIKE]the family.[/STRIKE]

My favourite scenes are when he takes [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] revenge against the people who [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] were going to kill his father, and when Brando’s character [STRIKE]is saying[/STRIKE] says "I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse".

In the end, Sonny is shot and Michael becomes the new Godfather.

I strongly recommend The Godfather.

It has action, drama, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] an unforgettable soundtrack, and an important message that violence never really solves anything.

The two sequels, [STRIKE]which are[/STRIKE] The Godfather: Part II and The Godfather: Part III, are also good, but the first movie is definitely my [STRIKE]most[/STRIKE] favourite. [STRIKE]one.[/STRIKE]


I used "was going to do" because they [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] did not succeed [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] in killing Vito. I am not sure if it is [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the correct verb form or not.

Thanks in advance.

See above. As you can see, you have needlessly used "who is/who are/which is" multiple times. Film titles should be made to stand out from the rest of the text in some way - I have italicised them. If you are going to quote a film title, make sure you get it right.
 

ambitious-girl

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Thanks so much Emsr2d2 for proofreading my paragraph.

Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family's and friends's schemes. (I don't understand the underlined part.)
I think it will be better by making following changes:

Don Vito is a fair but ruthless man, who runs his business by doing favours and expecting favours in return, and who organizes murders and other crimes using his family and friends.

This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because they won’t sell drugs. It's not clear whether "they" refers to the Vito family or to the "other criminal families.)
Yes. This part makes me confused too.
How about?
"They" referred to "Don's family". How it can be distinguished in the way that we can avoid repeating the word "family" ?
How about?

This family gets involved in a war with other criminal families because Don and his family won’t sell drugs.
 

ambitious-girl

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As you can see, you have needlessly used "who is/who are/which is" multiple times.
Sure. Thanks for your suggestion. I think I should have used in some sentences not all of them. All that you crossed were wrong or were just redundant?
 

emsr2d2

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The Vito family refuses to sell drugs, leading to a war with other criminal families.

All the "who is/who are/which is" examples were redundant.
 

sania-baharat

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What does this bold part mean? The sentence is so difficult to understand.
Is it possible to replace 'with' with 'because of' or 'as a result'? Definition #6 in the link below.

http://learnersdictionary.com/definition/with

He is a hothead and with him in charge of the family’s business, the war between the various families becomes much more violent.
 
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SoothingDave

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The movie was filmed in New York and in Sicily.
 

Barb_D

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No one admits to liking Part III.
 

emsr2d2

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I've never even seen the original, let alone the two sequels.
 

Barb_D

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There's a general sense that it's a "guys' movie" and I'm not a fan, but I don't know a single man who hasn't seen Part I and Part II many times. Mostly they pretend III doesn't exist.
 

emsr2d2

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I've seen clips and just never fancied it. Nothing to do with my gender though, I can assure you! I love lots of films and TV series that are frequently deemed "guys' stuff"!
 

yi-ing

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The movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, starts Marlon Brando as Don Vito and Al Pacino as his son, whose name is Michael.
Can I know why you crossed the 'whose name is'? Are they wordy or ungrammatical?
 

emsr2d2

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It's redundant. We rarely bother with it. It's clear you're talking about the person's name when you say their name.

This is my son, David.
That's my daughter, Helen.
 
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