arotahcorihs
New member
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2019
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Japanese
- Home Country
- Japan
- Current Location
- Japan
Could anyone please correct mistakes in my essay?
Thanks in advance.
Now that we live in a society where gender equality is pursued more vigorously than ever before, I am of exactly the same opinion that fathers should take a childcare leave after the birth of his child. To begin with, child-raising is a painstaking task that parents could not do every day without cooperation. In fact, a recent study showed that mothers whose husbands were not actively involved in childcare were more likely to suffer from mental disease such as depression. Secondly, fathers who spend long hours at home can be more often engaged in the interaction with their family, which helps foster children’s language development. As lots of researches previously revealed, children enhance linguistic competence by being exposed to communication between family members. From these viewpoints, I totally agree with the notion that fathers should take time off for their children.
Thanks in advance.
Now that we live in a society where gender equality is pursued more vigorously than ever before, I am of exactly the same opinion that fathers should take a childcare leave after the birth of his child. To begin with, child-raising is a painstaking task that parents could not do every day without cooperation. In fact, a recent study showed that mothers whose husbands were not actively involved in childcare were more likely to suffer from mental disease such as depression. Secondly, fathers who spend long hours at home can be more often engaged in the interaction with their family, which helps foster children’s language development. As lots of researches previously revealed, children enhance linguistic competence by being exposed to communication between family members. From these viewpoints, I totally agree with the notion that fathers should take time off for their children.
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