[Grammar] Proofreading request

canerkara

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Hi
Could you help me to check grammar in the following text?
Thank you.

"Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) is an important and preventable cause of childhood blindness. For this reason, in VISION 2020 program initiated by the World Health Organization to eliminate avoidable blindness, the control of the disease was highlighted. As the survival rate of very low birth weight infant increase in developing countries, also including our country, due to improvement in neonatal care, the frequency of disease has increased. The basic strategy for prevention of blindness from ROP is to identify the patients requiring treatment by examining within certain protocol. In this process, which was also called “Screening program”, it is important to identify babies needing treatment as many as possible, while minimizing the number of examinations. In this respect, the risk group should be well defined and diagnosis, follow up and treatment process should be done in a standard protocol. In this review it was aimed to give information about the about the diagnosis, follow-up and treatment of ROP"
 

emsr2d2

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Did you write that text yourself?
 

canerkara

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Yes, I wrote with the help of google translate.
 

tedmc

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"Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) is an important and preventable cause of childhood blindness. For this reason, in VISION 2020 program initiated by the World Health Organization to eliminate [STRIKE]avoidable[/STRIKE] preventable blindness, the control of the disease was highlighted. As the survival rate of very low birth weight infant increases in developing countries [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE]including our country, due to improvement in neo-natal care, the frequency of disease has increased. The basic strategy for the prevention of blindness from ROP is to identify the patients requiring treatment by examining them [STRIKE]within[/STRIKE] according to a certain protocol. In this process, which was also called ascreening program”, it is important to identify as many babies needing treatment [STRIKE]as many[/STRIKE] as possible, while minimizing the number of examinations. In this respect, the risk group should be well defined and diagnosis, follow-up and treatment process should be done [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] following a standard protocol. [STRIKE]In[/STRIKE] This review [STRIKE]it was aimed[/STRIKE] aims to give information [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] on the [STRIKE]about the[/STRIKE] diagnosis, follow-up and treatment of ROP".

May I know what language the above text was translated from?
 
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emsr2d2

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Yes, I wrote with the help of Google Translate.

Bear in mind that while Google Translate can be very useful for translating single words, it frequently makes a mess of longer pieces.
 

emsr2d2

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Did you write the original piece in Turkish?
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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Hi
Could you help me to check the grammar in the following text?
Thank you.

"Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) is an important and preventable cause of childhood blindness. For this reason, in the VISION 2020 program, initiated by the World Health Organization to eliminate avoidable blindness, the control of the disease was highlighted. As the survival rate of very low birth-weight infants increases in developing countries, [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] including our country, due to improvements in neonatal care, the frequency of the disease has increased. The basic strategy for the prevention of blindness from ROP is to identify the patients requiring treatment by examining them [STRIKE]within[/STRIKE] according to a certain protocol. In this process, [STRIKE]which was[/STRIKE] also called “Screening program”, it is important to identify babies needing treatment as [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] quickly as possible, while minimizing the number of examinations. In this respect, the risk group should be well-defined, and diagnosis, follow-up and treatment [STRIKE]process[/STRIKE] should be done [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] in line with a standard protocol. [STRIKE]In[/STRIKE] This review [STRIKE]it was[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]aimed[/STRIKE] ​aims to give information about the [STRIKE]about the[/STRIKE] diagnosis, follow-up and treatment of ROP."

Yes, I wrote it in Turkish, then translated it to English.

See above.
 
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