A college is a place...

[subhajit123]

Hi there, Can anyone please correct my sentence. Actually I think the sentence is not correct the way it is. I think the sentence has punctuation problems but I don't know what are they.

Here is the example:

1- A college is a place where a group of stranger meets that turns out to be a beautiful family at the end.

Apart from that,I think which also can be used instead of that. If I used which, did I need to any punctuation before or after it?

As usual if there is anything ungrammatical please correct it.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi there, Can anyone

I am certain that we have told you multiple times that we do not use a capital letter after a comma unless the word after the comma is a proper noun.

 

[jutfrank]

I don't think punctuation is the main problem here. The main problem is that you are trying to use two defining relative clauses in one sentence. You are trying to express two independent thoughts in one definition, and it doesn't work well.

1. College is a place where a group of strangers meet. (definition of college)
2. This group of strangers turns out to be a beautiful family. (result of what happens in 1.)

Now, it is possible to combine these two thoughts using a complex sentence. One way to do this is with a non-defining relative clause:

College is a place where a group of strangers, who turn out in the end to be a beautiful family, meet.

However, I wouldn't advise that. I think you should either use two separate sentences or completely rephrase it. For example:

College is a place where a group of people, who start out as complete strangers, can end up being a beautiful family.

 

[subhajit123]

Is this also correct?

College is a place where a group of strangers, which turn out in the end to be a beautiful family, meet.

I have used which instead of who because I want to refer the group.

 

[emsr2d2]

I prefer the use of "who". Also, if you want "which" to refer to "a group", you need to make sure that the verb "turn" agrees with "a group".

 

[Raymott]

College is a place where a group of strangers can meet[,] and later turn into a beautiful family.
(... though I've never seen this happen).