A final-year student...

[Gaya87]

Are the following sentences grammatically correct? And also please give your feedback on the sentence structure. Are they neat and well-organized? Thanks in advance.

Short summary
A final-year student, Star, has failed her English exam and may not obtain her degree. In order to graduate, she is forced to retake the test by attending midnight classes which is said to be haunted.

Long summary
A final-year student, Star who might not graduate in time because she failed her English exam. In effort to convince the dean to let her graduate, he permits her to retake the test by going to midnight classes which is said to be haunted. Naturally, she’s afraid, so she gathers a band of misfits who eventually becomes her best friends. Will Star and her friends can handle this special class without terrorizing trauma?

 

[teechar]

In order to graduate, she is forced to retake the test by attending midnight classes in a place which is said to be haunted.

Are you sure "midnight" is right? The usual is "evening classes" or "night classes."

Long summary
A final-year student, Star, [STRIKE]who[/STRIKE] [You're still making this mistake.] might not graduate in time because she failed her English exam. In an effort to convince the dean to let her graduate, she asks him to giver [STRIKE]he permits[/STRIKE] her another chance to do [STRIKE]retake[/STRIKE] the test

so she gathers a band of misfits who eventually become her best friends. Will Star and her friends [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] be able to handle this special class without getting scared? [STRIKE]terrorizing trauma?[/STRIKE]