a short paragraph

bartdebsky

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Mar 20, 2016
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Can anyone check my short paragraph in terms of grammar? Thank you in advance

Rockwell’s painting Rosie the Riveter pictures the significance of women during the World War II. The crucial figure of the painting is Rosie the Riveter that was instrumental in a propaganda campaign launched by the U.S government. The main aim of campaign was to encourage women to go into action into the workplace. There was the tremendous number of vacancies in the factories occasioned by the fact that young American men was seconded to the war front in World War II. During the World War II women turned to be the potential solution in order to relieve men in daily activities in wide range of jobs. Stemming from the Rockwell’s painting, Rosie was depicted as a muscular woman in factory outfit, possessing the awareness of her importance and power. The painting was kind of an incentive directed to American women that should knuckle down and help American society to defeat the enemy. The enormous power of women was a crucial point. The lack of women’ commitments on behalf of their homeland could have posed a problem with winning the war. The importance of American men was deficient and the mobilisation and the commitment of women was efficient to achieve the desired result.
 

teechar

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Feb 18, 2015
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English Teacher
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Iraq
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Can anyone check my short paragraph in terms of grammar? Thank you in advance

Rockwell’s painting, Rosie the Riveter, [STRIKE]pictures[/STRIKE] depicts the significance of the work done by women during [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] World War II. The crucial figure of the painting is Rosie the Riveter, [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] who was instrumental in a propaganda campaign launched by the U.S government. The main aim of that campaign was to encourage women to go into [STRIKE]action into[/STRIKE] the workplace. There was [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a tremendous [STRIKE]number of vacancies[/STRIKE] shortage of workers in the factories, occasioned by the fact that young American men [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] were seconded to the war [STRIKE]front[/STRIKE] effort in World War II. During the [STRIKE]World War II[/STRIKE] war, women [STRIKE]turned to be[/STRIKE] were seen as the potential solution [STRIKE]in order to relieve men in daily activities[/STRIKE] for filling in that gap in a wide range of jobs. Stemming from the Rockwell’s painting, [I don't understand what you mean by that.] Rosie was depicted as a muscular woman in factory outfit, [STRIKE]possessing the[/STRIKE] aware [STRIKE]ness[/STRIKE] of her importance and power. The painting was kind of an incentive directed towards American women [STRIKE]that should[/STRIKE] to knuckle down and help [STRIKE]American society to[/STRIKE] defeat the enemy. The enormous power of women was a crucial [STRIKE]point. The lack of women’ commitments on behalf of their homeland could have posed a problem with[/STRIKE] factor in winning the war. The [STRIKE]importance of American men was deficient and the[/STRIKE] mobilisation and the commitment of American women [STRIKE]was efficient[/STRIKE] helped to achieve the desired result.
Note that you can say:
World War II (no "the"), or
The Second World War.
 
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