A young woman's gift

[Gaya87]

Hi there, I really appreciate if someone please help me to check my writing below. Thank you.

Short summary
A young woman's gift of sixth sense brings her to a paranormal TV show, where she unveils that even the darkest pit of Bangkok connects to her deeply.

Long summary
As the only one who has been gifted with a sixth sense since birth, Pia decides to participate in a paranormal TV show to unveil the meaning behind her peculiar talent. Her appearance in the show unexpectedly unlocks millions of dark secrets in 13 locations in Bangkok, which strangely connect to her well. Is it her gift or determination that helps her showcase her talent? Or is it just a big game by fate?

 

[Gaya87]

Hi any feedback on the above writing?

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi there, I would really appreciate it if someone ​would/could [STRIKE]please[/STRIKE] help me to check my writing below. Thank you.

Short summary
A young woman's gift of sixth sense brings her to a paranormal TV show, where she unveils that even the darkest pit of Bangkok connects to her deeply.

Long summary
As the only member of her family [STRIKE]who has been gifted with a[/STRIKE] to have had the gift of sixth sense since birth, Pia decides to participate in a paranormal TV show to unveil the meaning behind her peculiar talent. Her appearance [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on the show unexpectedly unlocks millions of dark secrets in 13 locations in Bangkok, which strangely connect to her well. Is it her gift or determination that helps her showcase her talent? Or is it just a big game by fate? I don't know what you mean by the underlined part.

See above.

 

[tedmc]

Or is she destined to possess the supernatural ability?

 

[Gaya87]

See above ( just a big game by fate? I don't know what you mean by the underlined part) .

It's like fate's gameplay. Should I remove it?

 

[emsr2d2]

I wouldn't mention anything to do with "game/gameplay". You could end with just "Or is it just fate?"