[Grammar] Comma or not?

[Ca Ra G.]

In the sentence:
"In the columbarium, a state-of-the-art LED illumination creates a serene, yet not gloomy atmosphere."
is the comma between "serene" and "yet not" correct?

Thanks.:-D

 

[emsr2d2]

I would use it. I would add one after "columbarium" and after "gloomy".

In the columbarium, a state-of-the-art LED illumination creates a serene, yet not gloomy, atmosphere.

 

[Barb_D]

I agree with the commas but I don't see the need for "yet." There is nothing about the word "serene" that leads me to assume "gloomy" so you don't need to tell me that. In fact, including it makes me wonder if others did find it gloomy.

 

[lotus888]

Agreed. Putting a negative in front of "gloomy" seems strange. I would also eliminate "a."

In the columbarium, state-of-the-art LED illumination creates a serene, comforting atmosphere.


--lotus

 

[emsr2d2]

I just thought exactly the same thing. I didn't entirely consider the wording when I did the commas earlier. I read it again when I opened Barb's post. "Yet" is not necessary.

... creates a serene, but not gloomy, atmosphere.

I think "but" could be used although that still suggests that there are some people who will assume that a serene atmosphere equals a gloomy atmosphere. I do not connect those two at all. "Serene", for me, means "calm and quiet and relaxing". "Gloomy" is not the opposite of that.

In my opinion, "creates a serene atmosphere" would suffice.

 

[Ca Ra G.]

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ADVICES. I absolutely agree with you on gloomy not being the opposite of serene - only, this is a mere translation of a description on the (official) website of a sepulchral church in German („...schafft eine ruhige, jedoch nicht düstere Atmosphäre“).

However, going over your comments, leads me to another question: Is there a difference between „yet“ and „but“ - used in this particular way - other than stylistic?

 

[lotus888]

The literal translation would be "Make a calm/serene, however not dark atmosphere."

The closest translation would be "Creates a calm/serene, yet not dark atmosphere."

That would make it a better description of the illumination.
The dark atmosphere is the solemness of the surroundings.

However; if you want to emphasize the positive, we can say "comforting" instead of "not dark."

There is definitely a difference between "yet" and "but."

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm

BUT

1. To suggest a contrast that is unexpected in light of the first clause: "Joey lost a fortune in the stock market, but he still seems able to live quite comfortably."
2. To suggest in an affirmative sense what the first part of the sentence implied in a negative way (sometimes replaced by on the contrary): "The club never invested foolishly, but used the services of a sage investment counselor."
3. To connect two ideas with the meaning of "with the exception of" (and then the second word takes over as subject): "Everybody but Goldenbreath is trying out for the team."

The word YET functions sometimes as an adverb and has several meanings: in addition ("yet another cause of trouble" or "a simple yet noble woman"), even ("yet more expensive"), still ("he is yet a novice"), eventually ("they may yet win"), and so soon as now ("he's not here yet"). It also functions as a coordinating conjunction meaning something like "nevertheless" or "but." The word yet seems to carry an element of distinctiveness that but can seldom register.

• John plays basketball well, yet his favorite sport is badminton.
• The visitors complained loudly about the heat, yet they continued to play golf every day.

Bold added for emphasis.



--lotus