[Essay] correcting my story

fanny-ww

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I am from Germany, can you correct my story?


When did it start?

Probably at school, maybe the pressure.

Anyway, it only started end of May 2017.

I've noticed that I get some bad air, I thought it came from smoking.

Yes, at the end of May. The day started with a hangover, in the afternoon I was in town with my mother. On the way back home I noticed how I got less and less air and my body reacted, I felt dizzy, got a racing heart, I thought I must die now.

My mother called the ambulance and I was taken to the hospital.

From that moment, my whole life has changed.

Was checked from head to toe in the hospital, all right.

I was 100% sure that everything was not alright, but I have no physical damage.

After a few days in the intensive-care unit, I'm still with some doctors, but with my body, everything is fine, which was always confirmed to me. But I didn't feel any better, I was dizzy all the time, it just didn't get better, I was so tired.

I've been pondering from morning to evening, which is now with me. I was left with hope. Until my mother thought it might be the psyche. I didn't want to have that thought, then went back to a doctor and confirmed it, anxiety disorder!

Then I was referred to a psychiatric day clinic to deal with and accept this disorder. Much has not happened in the clinic, one drove in the morning, ate breakfast, had his therapy hours such as. Group therapy, occupational therapy, relaxation therapy, exercise therapy and one meeting, sometimes it ends after lunch or just after coffee time.

But the 9 weeks that I spent there did not really help, that alone my single talk lasted at most 15 minutes. Then you can imagine how the rest went, you had more break than anything else. As a result, one is often lost in his thoughts again.

It had one positive thing. I got out of the apartment, was again with people, I was better but not 100% good. In spite of that, I was able to go out on my own again. After I had left the clinic, so far everything was fine, normal daily routine, every day outside and trying to continue.

I've been feeling worse for a week now, and I feel like it's going downhill again, I feel weak, everything feels spotty, it looks spotty, I'm scared to lose myself. Occasionally there were also other symptoms such as aggression, mental lows, even fear in the dark. It may be that even more comes to it.

I want and will fight, always it is not easy and everyone has a low, that's nothing bad. As long as you are not alone, you can do it. I'm glad to have my mother by my side, she pulls me out of the deep hole again and again and builds me up.

I definitely have to visit a psychotherapist, with professional help it is still the best and the smartest way to make the best out of this situation, unfortunately, it is difficult to get to a therapy place. The courage will not leave me under any circumstances.

Conclusion


It is not always easy in life but you are never alone, you just have to have the courage to accept it and to trust the word of other people. Having a mental disorder never means being crazy, nobody can do anything about it. Something can really happen from one second to the other, as it was the case with me.

You just have to accept it and remember to fight, even if the road is difficult. If you want, you can do anything!
 

tedmc

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I am from Germany. Can you correct my story?


When did it start?

Probably at school, maybe the pressure. (not a sentence)

Anyway, it only started end of May 2017.

I've noticed that I [STRIKE]get some bad air[/STRIKE] have bad breath. I thought it came from smoking.

Yes, at the end of May. (not a sentence) The day started with a hangover. In the afternoon I was in town with my mother. On the way back home I noticed how I [STRIKE]got less and less air[/STRIKE] had breathing difficulty [STRIKE]and my body reacted[/STRIKE]. I felt dizzy, got a racing heart and I thought I [STRIKE]must[/STRIKE] would die [STRIKE]now[/STRIKE].

My mother called the ambulance and I was taken to the hospital.

From that moment, my whole life [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] changed.

I was checked from head to toe in the hospital[STRIKE], all right.[/STRIKE] and was found to be alright.

I was 100% sure that everything was not alright, but I [STRIKE]have [/STRIKE] sustained no physical damage.

After a few days in the intensive care unit, I'm still with some doctors, but with my body, everything is fine, which was always confirmed to me. (?) But I didn't feel any better; I was dizzy all the time[STRIKE], it just[/STRIKE] and I didn't get better, I was so tired.

I've been pondering from morning to evening, which is now with me.(?) I was left with hope. Until my mother thought it might [STRIKE]be[/STRIKE] have been the psyche. I didn't want to have that thought, then went back to a doctor [STRIKE]and confirmed[/STRIKE] to confirm it - anxiety disorder!

Then I was referred to a psychiatric day-clinic [STRIKE]to deal with and accept this disorder[/STRIKE] for treatment. [STRIKE]Much has not [/STRIKE] Not much happened in the clinic, one drove in the morning, ate breakfast, had his therapy hours such as. [STRIKE]Group therapy, occupational therapy, relaxation therapy, exercise therapy and one meeting, [/STRIKE] Sometimes it ends after lunch or just after coffee time.

But the [STRIKE]9[/STRIKE] nine weeks that I spent there did not really help, that alone my single talk lasted at most 15 minutes.(?) Then you can imagine how the rest went, [STRIKE]you had more break than anything else[/STRIKE]. As a result, one is often lost in his thoughts again.

It had one positive thing. I got out of the apartment, was again with people. I was better but not 100% [STRIKE]good[/STRIKE] well. In spite of that, I was able to go out on my own again. After I [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] left the clinic, [STRIKE]so far[/STRIKE] everything [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] went on fine, normal daily routine, every day outside and trying to continue.

I've been feeling worse for a week now, and I feel like it's going downhill again, I feel weak and everything feels spotty, it looks spotty, I'm scared to lose myself. Occasionally there were also other symptoms such as aggression, mental lows, even fear in the dark. It may be that even more comes to it.

I want and will fight, always it is not easy and everyone has a low, that's nothing bad. As long as you are not alone, you can do it. I'm glad to have my mother by my side. She pulls me out of the deep hole again and again and builds me up.

I definitely have to visit a psychotherapist. [STRIKE]With[/STRIKE] Professional help it is still the best and the smartest way to make the best out of this situation. Unfortunately, it is difficult to get to a therapy place. The courage will not leave me under any circumstances.

Conclusion


It is not always easy in life but you are never alone. You just have to have the courage to accept it and to trust the word of other people. Having a mental disorder never means being crazy. Nobody can do anything about it. Something can really happen from one second to the other, as it was the case with me.

You just have to accept it and remember to fight, even if the road is difficult. If you want, you can do anything!

Please see my corrections above.
Some sentences are incomplete.
You also have many run-on sentences. You cannot use a comma to join two independent clauses.
I cannot understand the parts underlined. Please rephrase them to make them clearer.
 
Last edited:

Matthew Wai

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Tarheel

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On the one hand, you wind up in intensive care, and on the other hand there is nothing physically wrong. The two things don't go together.
 
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